Taking Flight
by DreamsAreCrimson
Summary: For her whole life Lucy thought she was a squib. Now, everything is going to be different. After a certain wizard saves her, she is taken to Hogwarts were she might just find the one thing she's been missing; a place where she belongs.
1. Prologue

_ A women dressed in ragged robes ran down the streets of Spinner's End, wind tearing through her dark red hair. In her arms, her newborn daughter lay wrapped in a blanket. Green eye's pierced her own as she looked down. Her daughter's face was white from the cold wind. If only she could just get to Sirius, he would be able to help her and her daughter._

_ Her poor, aching legs wouldn't be able to push her forward much longer. Her breathing was jagged and quick. The only thing keeping her going was the little bundle in her arms. She looked back to where she was running and nearly missed the turn. She needed to get to the tree. There, Sirius would be waiting for her. She could see the tree now. Though, when she got there, Sirius was nowhere to be seen._

_ "Sirius!" She called. Where was he? She hadn't thought he would abandon her when she needed him most. She heard a twig snap and started. "This isn't funny, Sirius! I mean it!" She saw a tall silhouette was coming out of the shadows, walking towards her. Whoever it was, this was not Sirius._

_ "Daisy, stay where you are and we won't have to harm you. We just need that child." She looked down at her little bundle of joy before staring at the man. "This can be the easy way or the hard way."_

_ "Well, it's going to have to be the hard way then, because I will not let you have her." Daisy stood her ground, carefully unwinding her wand from the blanket, without being seen, and failed miserably at it._

_ "Don't even bother. You would just being signing your death certificate." The man finally got to the streetlight and on his face was a mask: a death eater. Now, Daisy was truly scared. Not about her own life, but about her daughter's._

_ "Who are you?" She stuttered._

_ She was answered with a cackling laugh, "Your end."_

_ "Please, spare my child. Take my life, just don't take her. I'll do anything!" Now, she was desperate. She would do anything for her daughter._

_ "I'm afraid I can't do that, now, hand her to me right now." Seeing that Daisy wouldn't do it the easy way, like he had expected, he sighed, looking down. What he didn't know, was that Daisy had her wand at the ready, she was starting to pull it carefully out. But then, when she finally got her wand out, it fell to the ground. "ACCIO DAISY'S WAND!" The death eater bellowed. With those three words, the wand flew to his hand. There was a snap, and Daisy's wand was destroyed. "THAT'S IT, THIS IS RIDICULOUS!"_

_ This was it, Daisy thought; He's going to kill us. Suddenly, a thought occurred to her. She tore off the blanket just as the death eater shouted, "AVADA KADAVRA!" She threw the cloth, and miraculously, only the blanket was destroyed .The death eater was flabbergasted: how had the killing curse have been blocked with a… a blanket? All thoughts forgotten about the baby, he looked down at the spot the blanket had been. Nothing was there. So what had happened?_

_ Daisy was already on the next street, ready to collapse. She had been through so much today. She had given birth to her daughter, death eaters attacked the hospital where they were, and now, she had just escaped death with a blanket. Well, a blanket with charms and protections on it. That must have been why they had survived. Now, Daisy stumbled and almost dropped her precious daughter. She had just decided that she would just rest for a few minutes when she heard a popping noise. She screamed and clambered up, searching for her wand, that was when she remembered her wand had been broken._

_ "Wh-who's there?" She was shivering from the cold, Halloween air._

_ "I won't hurt you." A familiar voice said wearily, it sounded as though the one who spoke had been crying, or still was. The only thing was remembering who the voice belonged to._

_ "Who are you?" Daisy repeated. A figure emerged from the shadows, exposing themself. "Sev?" She was astonished. Now, she was worried. He was showing emotion. Severus Snape was showing emotion. "What is wrong?" She wanted to know._

_ "Lily. She's gone." He croaked._

_ "No." She whispered. "No, no, NO!" She stepped up to him and, with one arm cradling her daughter, slapped Snape. "Don't lie to me." She was not going to believe this man after what he had called Lily._

_ "I wish I was. You know I would never lie about her. Not Lily." He stared into her eyes. Daisy saw honesty in his. Honesty, sadness, and nothingness all at the same time; were showing through his black eyes._

_ "No." She repeated. She held out her daughter. "Take her. Now!" She commanded. He quickly obliged and she collapsed._

_ Severus couldn't just leave Daisy and her child here in the street, especially not with all of the death eaters out, hungry for revenge. He brought the child into his house, set her down on the chair, and grabbed a pillow, which he used to stop the infant from rolling over. If it was even capable of that yet. He then went back and got Daisy, lifting her up into her arms. He made sure to do this gently; he knew that she had only given birth recently, judging by that baby and her appearance._

_ He set her in the guest bedroom and laid her down, pulling covers around her to tuck her in. Then, he went into the kitchen, grabbed two chairs, and set them in the bedroom where Daisy was. He grabbed a pillow to lie on the bottom of it (it was thin enough not to go too high, and a small blanket. Walking back to the living room, he thought about how he would tell Daisy what happened if she asked. No, when she asked. He had no clue. Snape picked up the baby, and carried her to the makeshift crib, tucking her in._

_ He then went to his own room, exhausted, though he never found sleep._

* * *

_ Daisy woke up a few hours later. She hadn't gotten much sleep, but she got more than Severus, who had gotten none. She was first aware that she was in a strange bed. Looking around, she saw two chairs together with pillows and blankets in it. She sat up, now she saw that her baby was in the makeshift crib, fast asleep._

_ The baby shifted, hitting her head on the side. The result was a high-pitched shriek, followed by a cry. Daisy rushed to her baby, aware that her body was aching. Not just physically. The floor creaked outside of the room and, frightened, she picked her child up and ran to the closet, carefully shutting the door. She heard the door opening, and someone walking in._

_ "Daisy?" They called quietly. "It's me, Severus." Realizing she had overreacted, Daisy opened the closet and walked out._

_ "Sorry, I was scared you were trying to kill us. I just… didn't know where I was, and ran when I heard you." She explained in a rush. "Do you have something to eat?" She added as her stomach growled._

_ "Yes," He looked down._

_"Good." She hadn't noticed him glance down, and walked past him, looking for the kitchen. When she found it, she was shocked. The only food in it was some stale bread, over-ripened fruit, and some old orange juice. "Okay…" She looked down at her daughter, whose stomach had just rumbled. "It's okay, baby girl, we'll get you something to eat."_

_ "Sorry, I should have gone shopping of something." He hung his head._

_ "That's fine; I wasn't even that hungry anyways." Her stomach didn't agree though, as it decided to grumble just as she said those words._

_ "I don't believe you." He smirked. He turned to leave, to get food, when Daisy remembered something._

_ "Severus?" He turned around. "Does Lily know I'm here?" His face told her everything she needed to know, last night, that part wasn't a dream. "So she's… she's really gone?" He nodded. "But… but how? The o-order was s-sup-pposed to p-protect them! W-what ab-bout Harry? T-tell m-me he's ok-kay." Severus nodded again. She was crying, and he wanted to comfort her, he just didn't know if she would want him to. "W-what happened? Severus, t-tell m-me, o-or I'll assume t-the w-worst."_

_ "It already is the worst." He said, with no emotion. Daisy slapped him. "What was that for?"_

_ "You! Did you not care about Lily at all?" She glared._

_ "I did, I loved-love-her. I love your sister." He answered honestly._

_ "You're not lying." She observed._

_ "I know that." He threw at her._

_"Why?" She asked after a few minutes._

_"Why? Harry was a threat to-" He was cut off._

_"Not Harry. Why did you call her a mudblood?" He flinched when he heard the fowl word he had called his precious Lily. "Why?" She whispered. "If you loved her like you say you did, then why hurt her like that?"_

_ "I was in a bad place." He looked at her eyes, those emerald orbs just like Lily's. Her hair was darker though, a lot darker than Lily's._

_ "I figured that much out myself, thank you." She retorted sarcastically._

_ "You're a bit judgmental, don't you think. I reckon there is somewhere in your life, that you have hurt someone you love. Probably even Lily."_

_ "Don't you dare turn this on me!" She shot daggers at him with her eyes._

_ "I wasn't."_

_ "Fine, I thank you for your help. I am done here. Goodbye, have a nice life." With that, she picked up her daughter, and left. That was the last time Severus had seen Daisy Evans. Or her him. _


	2. Broken

**Broken:**

I stood my ground. I, Lucy Drake did not cower. It hadn't even occurred to me. It was not allowed. Here I was, in the living room, my drunken father yelling at me. He was angry because he had apparently lost some gamble and owed many galleons, galleons he did not have. Therefore, he was blaming me for his bad luck, simply because he could.

"Why aren't the dishes done?" He screamed. "The table isn't cleared off!" He raised his arm, as if to hit me, but I was used to it. I didn't like it, but I was used to it. . "You stupid girl, why can't you do anything right?" Yes, I _am_ a girl, thanks for noticing. I would have said that out loud, but that would have been bad. "Look at me when I talk to you!" I already was; he of all people should know that. I knew what I was about to do was practically suicide, but I felt compelled to do it anyways.

"I am." I smirked, and instantly regretted it. I shouldn't have said that. He raised his hand again, only this time, it collided with my cheek. I staggered back, shocked; he had hit me harder than ever before. Tears were in my eyes, threatening to escape. I backed away, my hand to my cheek. He looked murderous still. He walked up to me, and pushed me into the wall. He jerked his arm back, before shooting it right into my stomach. I couldn't breathe. He let go of me, and I slid down the wall. His foot then collided with my side, and then his foot hit my face. Once more to my face, and he was done, but only with the non-magical beating. I knew what was coming, as I had endured it for many years.

"You made this happen, don't disobey me again, or it will get worse." I quickly shot up, balanced myself, and ran to the stairs. Not the ones that went upstairs, but the ones to the basement, where I lived. I knew he was coming after me, that he would catch up to me, heck, I was even leading him to a secluded area with only one exit, the exit I was currently making my way to. But, when I got to the door, opening it delayed me, and he caught up to me.

Before I could do anything, he shouted an all-too-familiar curse he used all the time on me. He would usually beat me up and make me weak, and then move on to using painful curses. "_Crucio,"_ He shouted, his wand out, pointed at me. No matter how many times he did this to me, it never got easier. I never got used to it. My bones were iron hot, burning me from the inside, while my body was dipped in acid and stabbed with poison-tipped daggers. I shook, collapsing, and thumping down the stairs. That only added to the pain. I could feel every last strike against each and every stair. The stairs were not carpeted, so I was hitting bare wood. I hit the unfinished basement's floor and landed in a heap. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see. I didn't even hear him come down the stairs, but I did feel it when he stomped hard on my stomach, again. The pain seemed to last for days, when in reality, it had only been about five minute's tops. When the pain did end, however, I still could not breathe.

Finally, the evil man was gone, upstairs. I heard the door lock behind him. Now, since the curse had stopped, I could finally breathe. Only I couldn't, I still was stunned from the kicking, falling, and curse. I lay on the ground, panting, crying, alone. Sure, I could act brave in front of him, but alone? I was scared and alone every day. The tears poured out, leaving clean trails down my face.

I finally started to breathe, and looked at my body, examining the wounds I could see. My stomach had bruises already, like my arms. Though I couldn't see my face, I could feel it. I could feel the blood dripping down, feel it on my face and then hear it drip into a small puddle on the dirt floor.

After a few moments of doing this, I smelled something I hoped wasn't there. Maybe I was just imagining it, all those curses probably drove me crazy by now, right? I hoped so, because what I smelled was smoke. Not bonfire smoke, but real smoke. The kind that you smelled when you cooked food or a house was burning. So, based on my observations, either he was trying to cook, and failed, or the house was on fire.

Knowing he wouldn't ever cook, I was betting on the latter one. I knew I would be burned alive if I didn't get up, but I couldn't get up. My body was just too sore; I was guessing that my wrist was broken, as long with a few ribs. There would also be bruises all over my body, maybe my ankle was sprained as well. My cheek was split, the fall hadn't helped at all with that one, but no matter how hurt I was, it wouldn't matter if I was cooked in this house. I had already wasted precious moments I might need for my escape. I pushed myself up, causing my wrist and ankle to flare with pain. Yup, my wrist was definitely broken.

When I got up, I couldn't breathe again. The smoke was already getting down here. Once the house collapses, it will be on me. I limp/hopped over to my corner. In it, a threadbare blanket lay, along with a small, brown duffel bag. In the duffel bag was my one pair of night clothes. I picked up the blanket, and stuffed in it the bag. Before I got back up, I clutched my precious locket that I always wore. It belonged to my mother. I ran my fingers along the smooth surface, cherishing what I had left of her. Her initials, D.L.E. were inside it, opposite of her picture. She was quite beautiful: dark red hair, green eyes, pale face, even a few freckles could be spotted here and there. I looked just like her, only younger.

Closing the locket, I slowly and carefully got up. I had spent too much time admiring the locket; beams were close to falling from the ceiling. I grabbed the bag and looked around for my escape. Unfortunately, there was none. The windows were too small and high to get to, and the door was blocked off by a small beam that had already fallen. Accepting the fact that this was the end to my horrid life, I sat down. Setting the bag on the floor, I lied down, using it as my pillow.

Not long after that, the fire was spreading rapidly. Fire was all around me, and I was finding it harder and harder to breathe. _Good_, I thought to myself, _perhaps I will not have to die by being burned to a crisp._ My thought was proven wrong, however, when the fire brushed against my already hurt leg. I hissed; this was going to be very painful.

I didn't call for help, there was no use. Besides, nobody would ever hear me if I tried. My father had obviously gotten tired of me, lit the house on fire, and ran. He would probably be far away right now, thanks to magic. We had no neighbors, seeing as we lived in the middle of the woods, and even if we did, nobody would be stupid enough to come into a burning house to save a pathetic child who was better off dead. At least, that was what my father had always told me: _Nobody would be able to save me, because nobody cared about a useless child who was better off dead. _My leg was on fire, literally. I had tried putting it out, using my bag, but that had only made it worse. Now, I could smell my own flesh burning, making me almost vomit. I say almost, because I hadn't eaten in at least four or five days, so I knew there was nothing in my stomach to get rid of. My stomach was empty.

I heard creaks and cracks, and knew that my time would soon be up. The beams holding up the house were wood, and would not stay up for very long. With the smoke in the air, fire consuming my leg, and beams ready to fall, my hope was lost. I was going to die. I was going to die alone, with nobody to miss me. Once I was gone, it would be as if I never existed. I would not live on in anyone's heart or mind, because nobody knew about me, aside from my horrid father, that is.

_This is awful_, I thought, _it's my birthday and I am dying a painful death._ Then, however, I realized that I had never given much thought to birthdays. They were only a reminder that I had spent another year with that awful man.

_*Flashback*_

_ I was in the kitchen doing the dishes, as I heard him enter the room. His footsteps thumped hard against the worn out linoleum. I knew it was coming, I deserved it, I wasn't working hard enough. I couldn't do thing properly today, because I hadn't eaten in days and had virtually no energy. _

_ "Why aren't those dished done yet?" He bellowed._

_ "I-I'm sorry, I just- I'm so tired and hungry…" I started._

_ "STOP WITH THE COMPLAINING AND ANSWER THE QUESTION! Now, why aren't the dishes done yet?" He repeated._

_ "I am too slow." I gulped._

_ "That you are, you filthy squib!" I had shown no signs of being magical and was already three years old. He had always hated me, but now that I was a squib, he wished I was never born. I was his worst mistake, as he put it._

_ He rushed up to me, and slapped me across my face._

_*End Flashback*_

A tear rolled down my cheek as I remembered the worst beating of my life before tonight. I knew I was a broken child and would never be fixed. How could someone be fixed without all of the pieces?

The seconds ticked on, and my leg was still currently being eaten alive by this hungry flame that would stop only when nothing else remained. I was slipping in and out of consciousness, my vision was starting to blur.

_Maybe, I won't be conscious when I die,_ I thought, _maybe, I will fall asleep and never wake up._ I was just starting to close my eyes, when I heard a noise. It wasn't very loud, yet I heard the faint sound that gave me hope. Enough hope to keep fighting to keep my eyes open, for I knew that once they closed, they wouldn't open ever again. It was a little _pop_ping noise; the sound of a witch or wizard using magic to appear in another location.

_Someone was here. They would find me soon enough. I just hoped it was before I was dead. _


	3. Found

**Found:**

With my new found hope, I took the time to actually look around at what was happening. Yes, I knew the house was on fire, beams were slowly falling, and my leg was on fire. But what I didn't know was that there was a beam on my leg, and that was what was holding my leg down, and the beam was on fire, flames licking my leg as the wood burned. If only I could just get my leg free, I might have a chance. I struggled in an intense battle with the beam, and lost.

I remembered the _popping_ noise and fought harder, thrashing about, knowing that if I could only free my leg, I could hop up and help whoever would save me. That is, if they were here to save me. It was still quite possible that it was my father who had come back to watch me burn. Even so, nobody was going to save me if I was dead. So, it was settled, I would try to survive, even if it was no use. At least I would die trying.

Finally, my leg seemed to move. It slid slowly and painfully out from under the beam, and I cried out as it finally was free. Even still, with my leg being out, I could not stand up. I was simply in too much pain, exhausted, thirsty, and choking on smoke. I heard the front door creak open and footsteps above my head. I wanted so desperately for them to hear me, save me, anything. Though, when I tried to yell out, all that came out was a pitiful screech. I banged my hands on the ground, but that only brought down more ash from the ceiling.

I heard the footsteps walk back towards the front door, and finally my voice was higher than a whisper.

"PLEASE! HE-!" I choked on smoke and couldn't finish my cry for help. I heard the footsteps pause, and I sighed. But then, they walked out of the house and I heard the door slam. "NO! COME BACK!" I felt tears coming on now. I knew I was doomed, that hope that had risen in my chest collapsed and a little part of me died inside, realizing nobody cared. I was just some little girl, a nuisance even. My vision went fuzzy and I coughed. My end was soon to come.

For about ten minutes, I went in and out of consciousness, gasping for fresh air. If I wasn't burned alive, I would suffocate first.

* * *

A man strolled through the corridors, glaring at the simplest of things. The moving pictures, the floor, even the gargoyle in which he stood in front of at the moment. "Cinnamon swirls" He growled. He hadn't meant to growl, it just came naturally. The gargoyle jumped to the side, revealing a moving staircase. He stepped onto the first step, and waited until the stairs stopped moving and he was in front of a door. He had only knocked twice when an old voice came softly, "Come in!" Stepping inside, he sighed.

"What is it? I have things to do Albus." He huffed.

"That you do, Severus, that you do." With that, Severus glared at him, why couldn't anything be easy with Albus? Pushing all thoughts aside, Severus waited for Albus to continue. "Severus, I need you to fetch someone for me." A pause and more information poured out of the old man's mouth. "You see… this is an important person, and she is in grave danger I fear."

"She?" Severus asked, finally interested.

"Yes, she. This young lady will need medical attention when she is brought here. I have already gone to the house she is in, but I think it will be better for you to be the one to save her."

"Save her? From what, may I ask?"

"There is no time at the moment, I'm afraid. However, once she is here, at Hogwarts, everything will be explained." Albus said in a rather dismissive tone.

Severus huffed, thought about the order for a second, and finally grunted, "Fine." Albus handed him a piece of paper with an address on it. It must be the address of this girl he must get, he thought.

At last once he was outside the gates of the medieval looking castle, he turned on his heel and apparated to the nearest place to the address as he could. He found himself just outside some woods. Sighing, he took swift steps until he saw a house. This house was on fire. Surely, Albus wouldn't have told him to save a girl from a fire? As much as Severus wanted to turn around and go back to his comfortable quarters back at Hogwarts, he knew he could not turn his back on this place. Someone needed him, and he would not let them down. Besides, he wasn't as cold as everybody made him out to be.

He strolled up to the front door and slowly opened the door, cautious of what he might find. Smoke flew out, smothering him. He wheezed, taking a few steps back. If someone _was_ in that house, he didn't know how they could possibly survive all of the smoke. Retrieving his wand from deep within his cloak, he grunted a quick, "Aguamenti" and a blast of water came from his wand. However, the fire seemed to be bewitched, so only a small path was put out, just big enough for Severus to walk through.

Now, the only problem was finding the girl in this three story house. It probably even had a basement for him to search. He would start from the bottom, he decided. He carefully navigated through the house to find an open door that lead down into the basement. He had found it, but a beam that had fallen blocked the way down. With a simple, "Evanesco", the beam was gone and Severus continued down his path to the basement. He hoped his efforts were not wasted, and he was very pleased to see the girl in the middle of the floor, still obviously breathing.

The girl seemed to be struggling to stay awake, not a good sign. Severus saw her burn and would have liked to heal her then, but the fire about to engulf them delayed that. At the moment, the most important thing was to get out of the burning house, or else any healing would be pointless. He scooped the girl up and was appalled to feel how light she was. She couldn't be more than four years old, but she felt as light as an infant might be.

Severus turned around and practically ran through the house and turned on his heel when he reached the grass. The familiar sensation of apparition hit him and he landed easily. He looked down at the girl and mentally face palmed for being so oblivious to her needs. She obviously was in need of immediate medical attention and he had probably made it all worse. He sent his patronis to Albus and waited for a few minutes before the insufferable moron, Argus Filch, came waltzing down the path to unlock the gate. He did so, but took his sweet time doing it.

"Move out of my way, you insufferable fool, can't you see I'm in a hurry?" Severus snapped when Filch stood gaping at the sight of Severus holding a child. Severus sped to the castle, pausing only to open the front doors and then continued to the hospital wing.

Madam Pomfrey came strolling out of her office, and gasped. "What happened to the poor child? And why are _you_ holding her, did you do this Severus?"

"No, I did not, now will you please direct me to the bed in which I may place her? She is in desperate need of medical attention, as you can probably see." He growled so low; it was barely above a whisper.

"That one, what happened to her?"

"Fire, I don't know the whole story." He spoke the truth. Even so, Poppy Pomfrey raised her eyebrows at this.

The doors slammed against the walls as Albus entered the room.

"Severus, when you found her, was she running such a high fever?" Poppy's voice brought him back to the scene unfolding.

"What are you talking about? She was just pulled from a burning house; of course she would feel warmer than usual." He growled as he looked at the sweating girl. It was rather chilly on this Halloween night, she shouldn't be that warm. Albus and Poppy both were already shaking their heads before he got to the word _burning_.

"No, I am afraid this is much more, I will look her over, but if her fever doesn't go down, I might have to send her to St. Mungos." She began to inspect her leg, which had been burned to the bone. After a few more moments, she moved onto the arms. They were bruised, but not as bad as her back, which was exposed when Poppy turned her over and pulled her shirt up. There were gasps to be heard from all three of the adults around the bed. The girl's back had a highly infected gash that stretched from her lower back to lower neck. There seemed to be others surrounding it, though they were older and just scars now. There was bruising on her back and face as well. There was so much bruising, in fact, that not even the dimmest human being could mistake it as a mere accident. No, this was obviously due to abuse, and long term at that.

The girl's eyes fluttered open to reveal brown orbs with tints of gold. She looked around and started hyperventilating when she saw Albus and Severus so close to her.

"It is okay, child. Do try and calm down." Albus tried to soothe her to no avail.

"Can't you see that she is scared half to death?" Poppy exclaimed.

Severus glanced at Albus, who seemed to read his mind and nodded, as if giving him permission. "Legilimens" Severus mumbled and was pulled into an awful scene.

_ "You stupid whore, why can't you do anything I ask right?" An evil man Severus remembered as Tenebris Drake bellowed at the little girl who couldn't have been more than three or four. He slapped her, punched her, and kicked her repeatedly in the stomach, before an evil glint came to his eyes and a sinister grin crept onto his face. He dragged the girl by her hair up two flights of stairs and threw her onto a bed. It was a big bed, probably Tenebris' bed himself. He slinked over to her and smiled. He ripped her pants off, and started unzipping his own pants, before pinning her down and entering into the innocent girl who silently cried as he pleasured himself. _

Severus couldn't bear to see anymore. He exited her mind and looked down at the innocent girl who was sweating uncontrollably. "It's okay, I will not hurt you. I am Severus Snape." She seemed to consider his words before she finally nodded. She then pressed a hand to her head and closed her eyes, wincing. Poppy rushed out of the room and came back seconds later with three tonics. Severus recognized two of them as a healing potion and a dreamless sleeping drought. "What is that one?" He pointed to the third bottle.

"Antibiotics." Poppy answered simply, before giving her the medicine. _Why did she need Antibiotics? That was a muggle treatment only used by wizards and witches when no spells would heal a certain illness. There were only a few illnesses not curable by magic, and they were quite severe if not taken care of at an early stage of the sickness._


	4. Illness

**Illness:**

I was not feeling good at all. My neck hurt, my stomach hurt, my head hurt, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I could feel sweat rolling down my face, and I felt like I was on fire. My skin has red bumps on it and I can't really move my neck. And through all of this, I still don't know what's wrong with me.

"Here, you need to take this." Madam Pomfrey brought something to my lips. I opened my eyes, but quickly closed them, because the light blinded me. This had happened before, I would open my eyes only to close them right after. Everybody seemed to be talking quieter around me too. "Drink this; it will make you feel better." She whispered. Why was everybody whispering? "Tilt your head up so I can pour it in your mouth." I tried, but my neck wouldn't budge. I started to panic and thrashed about. My eyes open, I looked around the room trying to find someone familiar besides Madam Pomfrey.

The man called Severus, an ancient man with a long white beard, and an older woman with a tight graying bun on top of her head were in a seemingly deep discussion. The man with straight black hair to his shoulders noticed me first-he had been facing my way-and came over to my bedside.

"Calm down, you won't be better until we can get you calm enough to give you the medicine." His voice was cold, but I could see in his eyes that he was actually trying to be soothing, or at least sincere.

I tried to nod, but failed, and cried out in pain. At least I thought I did, I only heard a faint noise when I screamed. I could have sworn I screamed from the top of my lungs. Madam Pomfrey and the old lady exchanged worried glances as they saw my confused face.

Madam Pomfrey was the first to recover and took advantage of my open mouth to shove the medicine down my throat. I wanted to spit it back up, because it tasted horrid. I gagged, but somehow managed to keep it down. I suddenly felt tired, and felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier, until I couldn't keep them up anymore.

* * *

I watched as the girl closed her eyes, she looked so frightened and pained, and only I knew why she was scared of Albus and me last night. I wish I could undo what happened, but I'm not a fool, I know that isn't possible. Sure, I could get a time turner, but if I changed that moment, Tenebris would have done it another time instead. Who knows how many times Tenebris had done that to that girl. I wish I knew her name.

"Severus?" I heard Albus ask. It sounded like he had been calling my name for quite a bit of time now.

"What?" I snapped. I wasn't mad at him, but Tenebris Drake, who hurt that little girl. Albus was just the easiest one to take my anger out on.

"Are you going to stay in here?" I looked around. Minerva had left already and Poppy was wiping the girl's face with what looked like a damp cloth.

"No, have papers to grade." With that, I spun around and stormed off to the dungeons.

* * *

I sighed. When would Severus ever admit his feelings? It was obvious that he cared for the girl, Lucille. With one last glance at her, I myself walked out of the hospital wing, only I would be going to my own office. All along the way I thought of how to tell Severus who this girl was, or more specifically, who her mother was. I had no idea how he would take the news, but I knew it wouldn't be well, especially not after Lily.

* * *

I woke up and felt a little better. My neck was still sore, my head still a little sore, and my red skin was now a pink. I opened my eyes, and this time, was not blinded. I felt warm, but not hot. My stomach was still upset, but I figured that would go away soon. Well, I must have jinxed myself, because a moment later, I rolled over on my side and threw up into a bowl that waited for me. When I was done a few minutes later, I rolled back over and looked at who put the bucket there. It was Severus. The bowl was now clean thanks to a… a wand.

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out, even though I felt my vocal chords move. I rolled right off the bed and onto the cold, hard floor. My neck screamed at me and I felt warm tears slide down my face from fear and pain. Severus seemed to realize something and pocketed his wand. Madam Pomfrey opened her mouth as if the yell at him, but when she did, no sound came out. Her lips moved, but she did not speak. I felt my eyebrows come together in confusion and sat up- careful as to not move my neck to fast or hard.

Madam Pomfrey rushed over to me and helped me up. After I was up on the bed again, I looked down. I was embarrassed that I had acted in such a way. These people were trying to help me, and I was scared of them.

By the time I looked up again, Madam Pomfrey was already at the door of her office and Severus was staring at me. At least he was trying to; his stares seem to look and feel more like glares. I wasn't offended or scared; he seemed like a person that had a rough past, like… like me. I looked down at this. I was actually trying to forget about that, but it seems I never will. The whole _forget-about-my-awful-past-and-get-over-it _thing probably never would have worked anyways; something was bound to remind me anyways.

I looked back up, again, and saw that Severus was moving his mouth as if he were talking, though no sound came out. He turned towards Madam Pomfrey's office and looked as if he were yelling, but again, no sound. Were these people trying to make me feel insane? Even though he made no sound, Madam Pomfrey came out of her office with a sad expression a few moments later and opened her mouth as if to reply. Again, no sound, I was starting to wonder if they were making sounds, but I was the only one who couldn't hear them…

* * *

I sat there, watching as Poppy helped the girl back up. Once she was settled, she-the girl-looked down and seemed very interested in her hands. I knew that trick though. She seemed in deep thought.

"I'm going to go into my office, if you need anything, call me." Poppy sighed as she started walking. I nodded, even though she couldn't see me do so. When the girl finally looked up, Poppy was already opening her office door. I looked back at the girl, trying to find out what she was thinking without having to use Legilimens again; after all, she couldn't possibly know Occlumency at such a young age, it seemed wrong to use Legilimens on this girl when she couldn't prevent it.

After a few minutes, I couldn't take it. "What are you thinking about?" The girl just stared at me with a perplexed look as if she didn't understand, or if she didn't hear me. "It is rude to stare." I droned on. I was getting annoyed. "Poppy, is this girl incoherent?"

Poppy came out of her office a moment with a somber look plastered on her face. "No, I'm afraid not. She… I'm afraid this might happen. You see… She was very sick and…"

"Just spit it out." I barked.

"Severus, you must understand. This girl had-has-Meningitis and-"

"So? What has that got to do with her not comprehending what I'm saying?"

"Well, she seems to have gone deaf due to the illness." I looked down, and then at the girl. What if she can't learn properly during her years at Hogwarts? More importantly, why do I even care? "But, there is the chance that she might regain some, if not all, of her hearing back." If she was trying to cheer me up, she failed miserably.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" I wanted to know.

"Well," She seemed a tad bit perplexed. "You asked…" She mumbled feebly, avoiding my dark eyes. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Does Albus know yet?" I questioned her.

"Well, no, I haven't gotten around to telling him yet because-"

"I don't care about your excuses, Poppy." I huffed as I stormed out of my chair, knocking it over. I threw open the doors to the hospital wing and went to my office to think over what was troubling me.

* * *

Alone in the dark hospital bed, I felt a lot better, except for the fact that I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't even hear the chair fall. I can see people talking and chairs falling, but cannot hear them. I just hope it isn't a permanent thing. Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and everything will be back to normal.

* * *

I was wrong. Sure, I didn't feel like I was going to throw up anymore, my skin was back to normal, my neck felt a lot better, and my head was fine. But I still couldn't hear. I was starting to get really worried now. What if I never hear again?

I was so deep in thought, that I didn't notice the door open or someone walk, or rather glide, to my bedside chair. I looked up and jumped, Albus was sitting beside me with a creepy smile on his face. I looked away, it really was freaky. He kind of just sat there awkwardly as I looked around the room, waiting for him to talk. But then, I realized that even if he did talk, I wouldn't hear him. I felt hot tears stream down my face at the thought. My ability to hear people coming-my father especially-was pretty much the only thing that could ever help me. It saved my life. I was too small to fight him back, too young to know how to do many things like write for help or call the police, and too scared to talk back. Well, at least most of the time for that last one.

After a little bit, I looked back at him, but he was gone. He must have snuck out while I was deep in thought. For some reason that made me feel sad. Nobody wanted to be around me. Maybe it was because I couldn't hear them to be able to strike up a conversation, or maybe I was boring, or people didn't like the fact that I really didn't look them in the eyes; that I gazed at walls or at my hands instead. Whatever the reason, I needed to find out. I felt the need to apologize to them- to Madam Pomfrey, Severus and Albus, that is. For everything they had done for me. To Severus for saving me from the fire, for Poppy for taking care of me, and Albus just because I didn't respect him when he visited me earlier.


	5. Showers

**Showers:**

I opened my eyes and felt myself yawn. I rubbed my eyes and looked around. Nobody was here. I sat there doing nothing for a while, until finally the office door opened and Madam Pomfrey walked out. She was smiling at me and had a pad of paper in one hand, a feather in the other. I felt my face crumple into confusion. Once she got to my bedside, she paused to write something with the feather.

She finally stopped and lowered the pad into my hands. I looked down at the squiggles and lines she had drawn. Unfortunately I had never been taught to read or write, so her efforts would be useless. She must have seen the confusion on my face, since she snatched the pad from my hands and stomped away. Great, now she's mad. Now she'll hit me, or worse, get someone stronger to do it.

I jumped out of the bed, ripping the needles out of my arm and tripping in the process, but quickly got back up and ran out of the big doors. I ran up many flights of stairs and turned many corners, almost hitting walls as I abruptly turned corners.

All of a sudden, people started to flood the halls. I can't breathe, I thought. I'm going to run out of air. Even still, I turned the corner I was closest to and bumped into something hard. I looked up and saw a very creepy, dragonfly-like woman. I swear my eyes went bigger than hers, and I turned around only to bump into a short, fat man. I was cornered. I felt the air rush out of my lungs and slumped against the wall, bringing my knees up to my chest. I started to try and bring some air into my lungs, but I only started to breathe really fast and shallow. I felt my eyes water and throat go dry.

* * *

"What do you mean she's gone?" A very angry potions master roared. "I left for a few hours to teach my morning classes and you lose her?"

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't think-" A scared Poppy stuttered.

"No, you didn't." Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath in attempt to calm down. "What happened?" He asked, looking back up.

"Well, I…" Poppy paused and looked at Albus as if to ask for help; help that she did not get. "I came out of my office to check on her, and brought a notepad and a quill to communicate. I wrote down that she needed to get cleaned up, and that I would show her to the washroom. I handed her the paper and she seemed to not understand. I don't think she can read…"

"Obviously," Severus huffed. Albus gave him a knowing smile.

"Anyways," She glowered. "I don't think she can read and I got angry. I was trying to help her, and how can I when she doesn't understand? Especially when she's what, four? I snatched the pad back and ran back into my office to calm down and the by the time I returned, she was gone."

"And you never thought to make sure she was alright?" Severus barked.

"Severus, this won't solve anything, we should find her before something happens." Albus finally decided to speak up.

"_Before_ something happens? Something has already happened, Albus. In case you hadn't noticed, she's _missing!_"

"I know, let's go find her."

"Uh…" Poppy was now staring at the door that had just opened. Severus and Albus turned and saw the girl fighting to get out of Sybil's grip.

"Let her go! Now!" Severus ordered.

"Someone's getting protective…" Poppy walked off. She was answered by an unheard growl.

"I was just trying to help this young girl. She seemed lost, so I tried to bring her to Albus' office, but nobody was there…. Oh hello, Albus. I didn't see you there." Severus cleared his throat. "Oh, yes and then when I touched her, I saw that she will have a very dangerous next few weeks. She has had a good life, but things will turn for worst in time to come." Severus scoffed whilst rolling his eyes. "What?" Sybil demanded. Severus just shook his head.

There was a thud as the girl finally got out of the woman's restraining arms. She ran under the hospital bed and disappeared. Severus walked slowly over to the bed and got on his hands and knees to look at the young, frightened girl. Since she couldn't hear, he tried to plead with her with his eyes to calm her. She nodded, comprehending. She slowly inched to the edge of the bed and Severus moved, so she could get up.

Now, both up and calm, she looked down. She opened her mouth as if to speak, and then closed it, her face red with anger. Albus dismissed himself for lunch, and Sybil had already snuck out. It was just Severus and the girl.

He gestured to the bed and she nodded finally sitting down.

* * *

My eyes flew open, I could hear something. It sounded distant and low, but still there. I spotted Albus with Severus and Poppy in a deep discussion. They hadn't noticed me yet. I got off the bed and walked over to them. Still, nobody noticed me. I tapped on Severus' arm. He looked down at me, eyes as big as that scary lady's had been.

"You're…" He stopped. His voice was a whisper.

"Why-" I cleared my cleared. "Why are you whispering?" I whispered as well. That was strange; I could have sworn I spoke normally. Oh well, I guess I need to speak up, after all, I hadn't used my ears in a while.

"Can you hear?" Poppy gasped.

I nodded. "Please stay away from me." Severus smirked and Albus politely looked away. "Why were you angry?"

"I… never mind, you just mind your own business!" With that, she rushed into her office, slamming the door behind her. I winced at the sound.

"Come; let's take this conversation to my office." Albus suggested. Neither of us saw anything wrong with that, so we followed Albus.

Once we finally got to his office, Albus made his way to a nice chair behind a pretty desk cluttered with papers, feathers and books. "Sit." He commanded. Immediately, I ran to the nearest chair and plopped myself in it. Severus sat down just after me; his legs were long, so his strides were as well.

"You know, you need not be frightened of us." Severus told me.

"What about the lady with big eyes, or that Madam Pomfrey?" I wonder.

"Okay, you need not be frightened of us besides those two." He amended his statement.

Albus took this moment to interrupt our conversation. "What is your name?"

"Lucille."

"And what is your age?" He pressed.

"Nine years old. I just turned nine a few days ago."

"When was this?"

"It was on the day of the fire; when Severus saved me." Severus' head snapped to my face as I said this. "I mean Mister Severus." I said quickly.

"Who is your mother?" It was Severus who asked this time.

I swallowed. "I don't know."

"What about your father?" Albus wondered.

"Tenebris Drake." I breathed, so I don't even know if I actually said it.

Apparently I had, because Albus' usually bright face had no light anymore. Severus looked down.

"Are you magical?" Severus wanted to know.

I thought back to what my father would call me all the time. "No." A tear slithered down my cheek. "No, I am a squib."

"How would you know that?" Albus asked, thoughtfully.

"I didn't, Father was the one who came to the conclusion."

"Hmm…" Albus seemed to be done with questions.

"Where will she go?" Severus worried.

"Oh, don't worry about me. I'll be fine on my own."

"Don't be dense; you will have an authority figure house you." He scolded.

"I'm sorry, sir." I looked at my hands.

Albus cleared his throat. "I have decided, after careful thought that you may stay here at Hogwarts until you are eleven. If you have not preformed some form of magic by that time, we will have no other choice but to find somewhere else for you."

I nodded. "I understand."

"Good, then we are done here."

"Where is the basement?" I asked.

"Whatever do you mean?" Albus looked perplexed.

"The basement, where is it?" I repeated.

"Why do you want to know?"

"You won't be living in the basement; you may live in my spare bedroom, if that's okay with you." I nodded; glad I wouldn't be in the cold basement.

He led me to the dungeons, so I was still in the basement, in a way. But I would have my own room to myself. I liked the living space; it was small, but not too small.

"I'm sure you would want a shower right now, Lucille." He said. "While you are in there, I will fix up your room." I stood there, confused.

"A shower? What is a shower?"

"You don't know what a shower is?" I shook my head. Severus walked to a door. I followed him, my curiosity getting the best of me. "A shower is a little place where you cleanse yourself."

"Okay." I said, still wary about this whole 'shower' thing.

* * *

After he explained how a shower works, and how to turn one on, he left me to myself to 'shower'. I stepped in the 'shower' and grabbed some 'shampoo'. I rubbed it into my dirty hair, my fingers catching tangles. I got some 'body wash' and a little towel to wash myself. I didn't understand why I was in here; I mean my clothes were going to get dirty again, as will my body. So, what was the point?

When I was done I wrapped a towel around my wet body. I was not getting dry, so I did the one thing I could think of. "Severus!" I called.

He rushed to the door and said through it, "Are you dressed?"

"Of course I'm dressed!" Why wouldn't I be?

He walked in and actually smirked at me. "You're not supposed to shower with your clothes on. You are supposed to take them off to be washed separately." He explained.

"That's kind of a waste." I commented.

"Well, that's how things work." He waved his wand and I was dry again. My hair was now a bright red, and looking in the mirror, it made the amber flecks in my brown eyes stand out. I smiled; I actually looked pretty for once.

"I'm sorry, I must go. Your room is the door on the left."

"Wait!" He half turned, waiting. "Why must you go?"

"You just remind me of someone that I used to know; two some ones, actually."

"Oh, I see." He then left.


	6. Night Terror

**Night Terror:**

_ There is nothing. It is dark and quiet; even with the curtains open to my little window. I open my door, hoping to find some light or noise. It is almost as dark in the living room as it was in my room. I look around the room trying to find a note, but there is none. There is no note in the kitchen, and obviously no note in The Toilet. Walking out of The Toilet, I debate on whether or not I should knock on Mr. Severus' door. After a few moments' hesitation, I knocked on his door. There was no reply, so I waited a few more minutes before knocking again. No reply, so I took a deep breath and turned the knob. He wasn't in there either. I sighed, if he wasn't in here, then where would he be?_

_ I think of what day it is. Oh, right, it's Wednesday, of course he would probably be in his classes. But that doesn't explain the darkness. My tummy rumbled, so I decided it best to go find some food. I am still wearing my nightgown, but I'm too hungry to bother changing. I don't think over my situation until I'm quite a bit away from the quarters. I haven't the slightest idea where I'm going. I look back, and I know that even if I wanted to find the quarters again, I wouldn't be able to. So, I continued forward until I got to an old, narrow staircase. I cautiously walked up it, and cringe at every creak or groan of the poor stairs that must've been stepped on for a long time._

_ At last, I get to the top and walk down the dim corridor. Outside the windows, there is utter darkness. I start to feel something deep inside my chest and turn the next corner. There, at the end is finally a silhouette of a person, running to me. As they get closer, I can make out the figure of a woman. She is probably less than thirty years old. When she is just strides away from me, she has a look of pure terror on her face. _

_ "You have to run!" She screams. "You have to go; he's coming!" She stops in front of me, trying to push me to go back. _

_ "Why?" I ask, puzzled. For all I know, she could be someone trying to lure me to her lair to torture me. "Why should I believe you?"_

_ "Because…" She falters. I raise my eyebrow, not about to let her get out with that answer. "You should trust me because I am your mother." I gasp, looking her over. She looks just like the older version of me. _

_ "Why must I run? Who's after you?" I start hyperventilating now that I have met my mother._

_ "You must run because he wants you back. And because he wants you back, he has found me and taken me." My eyes go wide; the only person I've met that isn't around now is Father._

_ "You don't mean," I whisper. She nods, telling me that it is he who she means. Tears spill over my face, slipping on my clean cheeks much easier than before, when they had to fight their way through dirt and blood. _

_ Loud, heavy steps catch my attention, causing me to look behind my mother. A man's silhouette that can only be Father is slowly walking to us, an evil chuckle booming through the almost empty corridor sending shivers down my spine. _

_ "Ah, looks like you've finally met your whore of a mother." His voice comes, causing me to try to turn, but my feet won't move. I look up at him, shaking. "Well, you know what they say; like mother, like daughter." He is now so close, that I can see his smirk. "If you don't try to run, this will be easier for all of us. _Crucio!_" The spell is not directed at me for once, but my mother. I cry out, trying to help her; I know this is useless, since I have no wand, but I can't let her be tortured without me trying to help. "Shut up, you miserable fool! _Silencio!_" I open my mouth in protest, but of course no sound is heard._

_ This goes on for what seems like hour, until my mother is on the verge of dying. "How about we switch things up a bit? _FUERTE!_" I had never heard this word before, but I could finally hear my gasps as he raised his wand again. "_CRUCIO!_" Pain was all I could feel. All I could hear was my screams. He didn't let up until abruptly all of it was over._

The scene in front of my was now my bedroom once more, and Mr. Severus is in front of my face, a worried expression plastered on his face. A moan escaped my lips as I tried to move. All of the effects of the curse seemed to stick with me.

"What happened?" Mr. Severus questioned.

"Father… he, he…" Tears poured out of my eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time this morning.

"What did he do?" Mr. Severus pressed.

"He hurt my mother." I cry. "And then, he hurt me."

"I thought you said you didn't know who your mother was?" He raised a black eyebrow.

"Well, I don't," I admitted. "But she was there and she was so scared."

"Do you need to go to Madam Pomfrey's?"

"NO!" My eyes popped wide, in embarrassment. "I mean, no thank you, that's not necessary."

"If you insist," He started. "Breakfast is in fifteen minutes. If you wish to attend, I suggest you get dressed into more appropriate clothes for dining and freshen up." I nod. "I trust you know where the Great Hall is?" I shake my head. "Very well, I will take you." He huffed.

Once he stalks out, I get out of bed and pick out some trousers and a jumper from my wardrobe. I grabbed my trainers and went to The Toilet to use the toilet and dress into my day clothes. Unfortunately, I must have taken longer than I'd thought, seeing as Mr. Severus was nowhere to be seen. Sighing, I made my way to the door. In the halls, I peered around a corner cautiously, not forgetting the last time I walked down this hall. I know it was a dream, but it still creeped me out. I accidentally bump into someone who is rushing down the stairs.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I look up at a girl with bubblegum pink hair. My eyes widen when I realize I'm staring, and I look down ashamed. "I'm sorry for staring; I just don't usually see people with…"

"Yeah, I know. My name's Nymphadora Tonks, but you may call me Tonks." She grins.

"My name's is Lucille Drake, but you may call me Lucy." I give her a small smile back. She nods, acknowledging my introduction.

"Hey, are you already done with breakfast?" She asks.

"No, I'm on my way."

"No, you're on your way away from breakfast." She scoffs. "Come on, you can sit by me." I smile, following her into a big dining hall. "Say, you're kind of small for a first year,"

"Yeah, well, that's because I'm not in school yet." I think about what I just said. "Well, at least not to learn."

"How old are you?" She asks.

"I'm nine." She looks puzzled. "Yeah, I do look a lot younger than I really am, don't I?" She nods, laughing.

"So, why are you here so early then?" Her pink eyebrows furrow.

"I'm here with someone who's taking care of me…" I trail off.

She notices this and gives me a questioning look. "Who's looking after you?"

"Severus…" I realize I don't know his surname.

"Professor Snape is taking care of you?" She yells a question.

"Yes, now hush. I don't think he really wants people to know." I whisper.

"I think it's a little late for that," She mumbles, looking at the now silent dining hall.

"Yeah," I nod. "Um, about me sitting next to you, I have to ask Mr. Snape first."

"Whatever, I'm at the Hufflepuff table." I nod, walking to the table where he is.

Once I get next to him, I tap his arm. "Hey, I was wondering if I might be able to sit next to my new friend." I plead.

"Who is this 'new friend'?" He questions.

I hesitate, I don't know why, but I do. "Tonks,"

"Nymphadora Tonks, that Hufflepuff trouble maker?" He bellows. I nod, tears forming in my eyes because of his tone towards my only friend. "No, you may certainly not sit next to her. A Hufflepuff," He mutters to himself just loud enough for me to hear.

"I was just asking. I'm not very hungry anymore." I mumble. He brushes me away with a wave of the hand. I walk until I am out of the hall, and then I run to some big doors that take me outside. I walk aimlessly until I come to a forest. I sniffle as I walk, putting one foot in front of the other. I walk until I stop crying, and look up. All I can see is trees. I'm not ready to go back and face everybody yet, so I sit against a tree.

* * *

"Severus, I don't think you should have yelled at young Lucille. She is only looking for someone to care for her. She's not used to being cared for, and being here seems to bring her hope." Albus scolds a rather bored man slouching in front of him.

"I know perfectly well what I did was wrong. What good does care do if she might be sent away right just in time for her 'care' to be taken away from her? She might have to leave in two years." Severus drones with just a hint of concern and sadness in his cold voice. Someone who didn't know him well would only hear the coldness, but Albus, who knew Severus well, could detect the other emotions.

"The key word is might. Just because she might be sent away, doesn't mean that she will." Albus tells him.

Severus rolls his eyes before saying, "Well I'm not going to give her something that will only be taken away from her, wasting my time and effort."

Albus studies Severus before speaking. "I don't think that's why you won't show a little compassion, at least not in front of her." Severus lifts an eyebrow. "I have witnessed your concern and affection towards the girl, even if you're not ready to admit it."

"I don't need this, I have to find…" Severus trails off, cursing under his breath. Albus shoots him a knowing smile before he swiftly stands up and saunters out of the office.

After searching his quarters, Severus went floor by floor, looking for Lucy. By the time he got done with the top floor, he flew downstairs, on his way to the dark outside. He lit his wand, shuffling along the dead grass, fighting the wind. Finally, he got to Hagrid's hut. He didn't want to ask him, but he was the most likely person to have seen her.

He rapped the door three times and waited impatiently until he heard the heavy footsteps coming closer to the door. As the door opened, bright light blinded him for a moment. "Hey, Sev'rus, whocher doin' o'er 'ere so late?"

"I'm looking for a young girl named Lucy. She's-"

"Right o'er there!" Hagrid pulled back, waving over to where the terrified girl shook, wide-eyed. Snape practically shoved the half-giant aside in his effort to get to the girl.

"What happened?" After a moment's silence, he sighed. "What happened?" Severus repeated, only this time the question was directed to Hagrid.

"Well, I was huntin' in the woods when I saw 'er. She was shaking an' almos' unconscious, this one was." Hagrid took a moment to gather his thoughts while Lucy moaned.

"What's wrong, girl?" Severus demanded his answer, this time not bothering with care. She only shook her head, silently crying, her tears staining her face. "I'll use Veritaserum if you won't willingly tell me," He warned.

After a moment's debate, she nods. "But not now, I will tell you later, when we're home." The man in black is shocked by her claim on his chambers. Home.


	7. Explanation

**Explanation:**

"Okay, we're 'home'." Mr. Snape points out once we're through the door. I sit on the couch before looking up at his pale face. "Now, I will ask you one more time; what happened?"

I take a deep breath, just trying to stall, "Just, promise you won't get mad?" I whisper.

"Yes, very well, just spit it out!" He snaps.

Other than my involuntary flinch, his words go unnoticed. "Okay, after leaving the dining hall, I went for a walk. I walked past some big lake all the way into some thick forest-"

"THE FORBIDDEN FOREST, THAT'S OBVIOUSLY OFF LIMITS TO STUDENTS!" He scolded.

"Well, I'm not a student, and I wasn't finished." I huff. Wasn't he the one who wanted to know what happened? Sitting with my arms crossed, I glare at the wall until Mr. Snape clears his throat, catching my attention. I sigh in defeat; I never was very good at staying mad at people, which was one of my problems my whole life. "Sorry, I just…"

"You just have a temper." He finishes for me. I nod, silently thanking him for not making me say the words that Father had some many times spat at me. "Now, go on, we haven't all day."

"Okay, so I wandered around outside for a while trying to calm down and ended up in the forest and- Hey, why would you build a school near a forest that's forbidden to everyone anyway?"

Mr. Snape muttered something about ADD before saying louder, "Obviously it wasn't forbidden forever, and even if it was, it's just forbidden to students-and children in general." At my raised eyebrow, he had hastily added the last part on.

"Well, I ended up in the forest and was lost. I walked around a little bit more, but it seemed I was only going farther in. I wasn't, as soon I was seeing a distant light. It was as if I was compelled to go to the light. So I did. I walked until I broke through the trees, but I found that giant man. He scared me and I tried to get away, He was faster than me and I don't know how, but I hurt him." At Mr. Snape's amused face, I guessed that the giant man wasn't often hurt by little girls. "Well, I tried to run away and he was there all of a sudden. I screamed and somehow burned him. I didn't even touch him. We were running, and all of a sudden he was clutching his leg. I felt guilty and out of control." Mr. Snape's face had slowly changed from confusion to realization as I explained myself. I figured he would be scared or angry, but he was just… almost happy.

"And this, this burn, you weren't near any fire?" He questioned, an urgent look spread on his face. I shake my head, ashamed of my actions. "So, you… burned him while nowhere near fire, and you weren't by him either?" I nod, ready for his scolding. Though, the scolding never came, as he just sighed in relief and sat for a second with his eyes closed. "Follow me."

As we walk down the corridors of Hogwarts, I worried about what was going to happen to me. Would they send me to an insane ward? Or to someone who would prevent any other incidents? Or worse, back to Father? As my breath catches, I try to stop thinking of all of the possibilities, but they creep into my mind with no intentions of leaving. Maybe that's why Mr. Snape was happy; I was being sent away finally. Because who would want a freak who burns people without touching them and without fire? I certainly wouldn't.

Looking up, I see the entrance to Albus' office. Yes, I was right; I'm in trouble and am being sent away. To where, I cannot say. Once we were inside, I keep my head down until the sound of a throat being cleared catches my attention. Slowly, I look up. Albus is looking at me with a twinkle in his blue eyes. Mr. Snape is looking at me like I'm some dunderhead that needs to be dealt with.

"Would you like to sit, Lucille?" Albus asks, but it sounds more like an order. With that being said, I rush to the chair Mr. Snape isn't in and plop myself down on it. "So, I assume you have something to tell me?"

Mr. Snape scoffs. "Obviously," He glances at me. "Lucille here has performed an unusual task tonight. She found herself in the woods and somehow ended up at Hagrid's Hut and was terrified of him. She _accidentally _burned him." He stressed the word accidentally only for my sake. Albus seems to comprehend this. The minutes that go by are agonizing as I wait for him to speak.

"Well, Lucille, is this true?" I nod guiltily. "Why are you acting guilty? I trust Hagrid is alive and well?" I nod at the same time as Mr. Snape. "Well then, what you did was an accident. It was magic."

"Magic isn't good though." I state.

"What?" Albus starts. "Magic is only as good as the one who uses it." My lip trembles as I realize that I burned someone, so I can't be good. I f I were good, I would have simply made myself become out of reach, not burn that big man. I stand up and run out of the room.

I keep running until I can't run anymore, until I feel nauseous. I stagger to the wall and take deep breaths. My vision is hazy and I feel drained. A sound startles me and sets me off again. My vision starts to come back and I come to some stairs. However, there's something wrong with them; they're moving. Plus, as I step on one step, I fall halfway through.

* * *

Lucille just has to run off when things get bad. Why does she do that? Who knows? My feet come hard on the smooth ground as I run behind her, trying to catch up to her. Finally, she stops and I slow my pace. She stays there for a few moments before running again. Cursing under my breath, I sprint; as there are staircases up ahead. Of course, she finds the one trick step and almost falls.

Carefully stepping on the now moving staircase, I rush to her side. On her face is a mask. Her eyes are wide, face even paler than before, and she's hyperventilating. "Shh," I shush her. "Stop fighting me, I'm trying to help you." She seems to finally relax. I ease her out of the step and pick her up, supporting her head with my arm and the back of her knees with the other. Footsteps cause me to turn around. Albus finally caught up.

"Ah, so you got her. Take her to her room and then come talk to me. We must discuss future plans and school enrollments." With that, he turned on the spot and apparated.

Lucille stirred in my arms before going still, falling into a deep slumber. I take her back to her bed and tuck her in, before going back to Albus' office.

"I'm sorry; it seems that she's a little more sensitive than I'd anticipated. We may have to choose our words more carefully." I hear as I enter the office. I nod, carefully choosing not to back talk the headmaster. "Is she in her room?" I nod again. "What is on your mind?"

"It's just, she reminds me of them." I admit.

"Of… who, might I ask?" He presses.

I hesitate. "Of… of Lily and Daisy." I receive a nod from Albus. "What are we to do about her education?" I ask, desperately wanting to change the subject.

"There are many options, yet two seem to outweigh the others." Why is it always beating around the bush with him? "She has her birthday on the thirty-first of October, so she would technically have to start in three years, putting her at about a year older than the majority of her classmates in her year. Or, we could put her in two years, where she would be younger than the rest for the first two months, and then the same age."

"I suppose it depends on what Lucy-ille wants." I curse under my breath upon hearing my slip-up. Albus sends me a knowing smile.

"Ask her when she wakes up tomorrow and tell me what she decides after." Turning on my heel, I grunt, acknowledging Albus' orders.

* * *

I had bad dreams, but none as bad as the one form last time. These ones were the same as usual. They were of Father, but he wasn't hurting Mother. At least, not this time. Today is Thursday, Mr. Snape will be teaching most of the day. Rolling over, I catch a glimpse at my clock, seeing that it's only six.

"Why? Why must I wake this early?" I groan. I get up and get dressed, eager to eat. Hopefully today, Mr. Snape will let me eat with Tonks. Mr. Snape is in his chair grading a stack of papers. "Hello, I was just wondering if I might be allowed to sit with Tonks this morning for breakfast."

"Look at the clock." I oblige. It's six-o-seven.

"It's only six-o-seven." I know my face has confusion pasted on it, but that's what I feel; confusion. "Breakfast continues until seven."

"In the morning," He finally looks up. "But it's evening now."

"Are you serious?" I moan.

"No, I'm Severus…" He says carefully.

"What? I know you're Severus, I meant are you serious; s-e-r-i-o-u-s." I'm confused. What person is named Serious? More importantly, what parents names their kid Serious?

"Oh, right. Well, no, I wasn't joking; I was serious. You slept through the morning and afternoon." I groan, rolling over and onto to floor.

"Ow," I push myself up halfway, but then get lazy and fall back to the ground, dragging the blanket with me.

"Are you just going to lie there, or are you going to get up so you can eat at least something today?" Mr. Snape drawls.

"Um, neither and both at the same time." I state.

"You are one strange child." He rolls his eyes, turning on his heel.

"Hey," I call. "Am I allowed to go eat with Tonks today?"

"Yes, but right after you're done come home so we can discuss some important matters." I gulp as he finishes his condition.

"Yes Mr. Snape." I nod. One of his black eyebrows go farther up his forehead at my way of addressing him, but he just shakes his head and walks out.

After getting dressed in a pretty white top with lacey sleeves and a dark pair of jeans, I made my way to the dining hall. Tonks waves me over and with a smile on my face; I walk over to her with a leap in my step.


	8. Illiterate

**Illiterate:**

"I thought I told you to come right after dinner?" Mr. Snape glowered at me.

"I got sidetracked." I mumble.

"What was that?" I repeat myself. "By what, might I ask? What is more important than listening to me? I, who have provided you with shelter, safety, and food, surely deserve more respect than what you have given me."

I gulp. "Well, yes, but two redheaded boys saw me walking and didn't recognize me. They started talking at the same time and finishing each other's sentences. They were a bit mad, I think."

"Well, even so. You should have come right down. You should have ignored them." I nod, not willing to fight with him. "Now, we have important things to discuss. Please, have a seat." I oblige, wary of what we are about to speak about. "You are a witch. Therefore, you will attend Hogwarts. It is only a matter of when. You turn eleven in two years, but technically after the deadline to go to Hogwarts of that year. Headmaster Dumbledore has generously given you the option to go to school early, unless you decline."

"So, I have to go to school?" Is all I get out of his speech.

"Yes! You must be educated. Now, I want you to write him your formal reply."

"Mister Severus?" He turns to look at me. "I'm afraid I cannot go to school, nor can I write Albus, I mean Headmaster Dumbledore."

"And why ever not?" He puzzles.

"Because I cannot read or write." I whisper.

"Can you repeat that? I didn't quite catch that." I repeat myself and he furrows his eyebrows. "You… can't read or write? Well, I guess we'll have to fix that. I had just assumed that you could; you're speech is so good." I look down. "There are much worse things in the world than being an illiterate."

"Being what?"

"Illiterate, it means someone who cannot read or write."

"How will I learn?" I ask.

"I will teach you." I smile. This was the best thing I'd heard since hearing I would be in an actual bed.

* * *

On Saturday, I was woken up by Mr. Snape very early. He told me to eat and then return for my lesson. My lesson would be on the alphabet. I knew it was something little kids learned, so I didn't tell Tonks about it when she asked why I was in such a hurry to get back to Mr. Snape. Instead, I told her that I had to discuss school enrollment stuff.

"Okay, the alphabet is a very simple concept. They are the roots to all reading and writing. They form words." He paused, looking at my bored expression. "Am I boring you, Ms. Drake?" I shook my head and rearranged my facial expression to one of indifference. "Okay, the alphabet starts with A. Then, B follows it." He continued, writing the letters in two different ways on a piece of parchment each time.

"Now, I want you to write each letter and tell what it is." I picked up the feather awkwardly. I wrote a big A. "This one is an A in big writing."

"It's called uppercase. The first ones I wrote are uppercase, and the second ones are lowercase." I continue, using the proper terms this time.

* * *

Our lessons continued like that on weekends and after his other classes. I mastered the alphabet and actually started writing others things such as my name, "Lucille Anne Drake", his name, "Severus Tobias Snape", and simple words like, "cat", "owl", "wand", and "toad". Mr. Snape only told me how to spell his name and what his middle name was so that if for some reason I need to write to him or some other scenario, I would know.

I had become quite good at reading; I was a lot better at reading than writing. I like reading. It is a sort of escape from the world. When I read, I am no longer part of my world, but rather, a new world. I just don't like the stories Mr. Snape has given me to read. They are all little kids' books and make me feel like he thinks I'm too stupid to read regular books.

I have, however, traveled to the library a few times to read some books. Most of them were about school subjects, but I found a storybook called Mystified Magic by Harrietta Hurntes. It's about a young girl who finds out she has magical powers and makes friends in a new world. It's kind of cheesy, but I still like it better than what Mr. Snape gives me to read. The recent book I've had to read was a potions book.

Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I am nervous. I have never had a Christmas before, so I feel bad about not being in such a joyous mood as all of the other people in the castle aside from Mr. Snape. Tonks left to spend the holidays with her family, and most of the other students have too. I haven't really made anymore friends besides Tonks, but I don't really mind that much. Severus has actually stopped muttering every time I speak about her.

It's actually quite nice with so little people in the castle. Headmaster Dumbledore told me yesterday that the Great Hall will be decorated and we will have a special Christmas Feast.

I am supposed to be inside working on my reading, but I'm leaning up against a tree by the big lake instead. I know Mr. Snape will be mad when he returns to our living space and discovers my absence, but I just love fresh air. I had been deprived of it so long, I feel better with it now.

"Lucille, I thought I told you to work on reading." Speak of the devil.

"Oh, well, I thought you would be teaching longer." I avoid his eyes.

He comes closer to me. "I hope you haven't been out here all day, It's almost time for dinner and you look like you're about to freeze." Now that I think about it, I am rather cold.

"What time is it?" I ask him.

"It is now six fifty-four." He drawls.

I nod, and get up. He leads the way to the Great Hall. Inside, it's really pretty. There are glittering snowflakes hanging from the ceiling and a tree is in the corner. It has a lot of things all over it. "Why did someone put stuff all over the tree?" Mr. Snape looks at me strangely before telling me that he would explain later. We sit down in the only free chairs - which are on opposite ends of the table - and eat some yummy food. I ate some ham, green beans, and a roll. I was sipping pumpkin juice when someone knocked into my chair, causing me to choke. I dropped my goblet and grabbed my throat.

* * *

I am just about ready to ask Lucy if she's ready to go to my living quarters when Argus Filch bumps into her chair in a hasty attempt to get to Albus. She had just put the goblet to her lips and gulped, so she choked on the drink she was in the process of swallowing. Without thinking about the few students or my colleagues, I run to Lucy. I grab her and perform the Heimlich maneuver on her, in desperate attempt to get her to breathe again.

As soon as she starts to cough up the drink, I release her. Everyone is staring at us. I turn on my heel and storm out of the Great Hall. When classes resume, this will spread like wildfire. I make me way to my personal quarters and lock the door behind me.

After an hour, a knock brings me out of my thoughts. I pull the door open, ready to scold whoever dares disturb me. Though, I don't scold the person. Lucy is standing before me, a shy smile on her pale face.

"I'm sorry I made a scene back in the Great Hall." She apologizes. So she thinks it was her fault? She blames herself for what the idiot squib did?

"It was not your fault. You could not help someone bumping your chair just as you take a drink." I back up to let her in. I close the door after her, remembering what she asked earlier. "The tree was decorated for Christmas."

She looks at me in confusion. "Why would anybody decorate a tree for a holiday?"

"It's symbolic." I reply. "Now, you are to practice your reading as you should have earlier." I order her. She groans, but I silence her with a glare.

* * *

The story I'm to read is called The Tale of the Three Brothers by Beedle the Bard:

_"There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across.. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure._

_And Death spoke to them. He was angry that he had been cheated out of three new victims, for travelers usually drowned in the river. But Death was cunning. He pretended to congratulate the three brothers upon their magic and said that each had earned a prize for having been clever enough to evade him._

_So the oldest brother, who was a combative man, asked for a wand more powerful than any in existence: a wand that must always win duels for its owner, a wand worthy of a wizard who had conquered Death! So Death crossed to an elder tree on the banks of the river, fashioned a wand from a branch that hung there, and gave it to the oldest brother._

_Then the second brother, who was an arrogant man, decided that he wanted to humiliate Death still further, and asked for the power to recall others from Death. So Death picked up a stone from the riverbank and gave it to the second brother, and told him that the stone would have the power to bring back the dead. _

_And then Death asked the third and youngest brother what he would like. The youngest brother was the humblest and also the wisest of the brothers, and he did not trust Death. So he asked for something that would enable him to go forth from that place without being followed by Death. And death, most unwillingly, handed over his own Cloak of Invisibility._

_ Then Death stood aside and allowed the three brothers to continue on their way, and they did so, talking with wonder of the adventure they had had, and admiring Death's gifts. In due course the brothers separated, each for his own destination. _

_The first brother traveled on for a week or more, and reaching a distant village, sought out a fellow wizard with whom he had a quarrel. Naturally with the Elder Wand as his weapon, he could not fail to win the duel that followed. Leaving his enemy dead upon the floor, the oldest brother proceeded to an inn, where he boasted loudly of the powerful wand he had snatched from Death himself, and of how it made him invincible._

_That very night, another wizard crept upon the oldest brother as he lay, wine-sodden, upon his bed. The theif took the wand and, for good measure, slit the oldest brother's throat._

_And so Death took the first brother for his own._

_Meanwhile, the second brother journeyed to his own home, where he lived alone. Here he took out the stone that had the power to recall the dead, and turned it thrice in his hand. To his amazement and his delight, the figure of the girl he had once hoped to marry, before her untimely death, appeared at once before him._

_Yet she was sad and cold, separated from him as by a veil. Though she had returned to the mortal world, she did not truly belong there and suffered. Finally the second brother, driven mad with hopeless longing, killed himself so as truly to join her._

_And so Death took the second brother for his own._

_But though Death searched for the third brother for many years, he was never able to find him. It was only when he had attained a great age that the youngest brother finally took off the Cloak of Invisibility and gave it to his son. And then he greeted Death as an old friend, and went with him gladly, and, equals, they departed this life."_

When I finished the story, I was confused. Is the point of the story to encourage young people to welcome death? Or hide from it? One thing was for sure, this was the first book I actually care to know more about of all the books Mr. Snape gave me to read. I was still thinking about the story as I fell asleep.


	9. House Elves and Vomit

**House Elves and Vomit:**

On Christmas morning, I woke up early. I haven't the slightest idea why, though. I had never celebrated Christmas before, so why should this year be different? I don't really know, but I would love to give my built in alarm clock a scolding. After deciding how I would yell at my built in alarm clock, I got out of bed, deciding I had been lazy enough. Besides, I should do the right thing and make him some breakfast.

I only knew how to make meals because Father would force me to come out of my prison cell long enough for me to cook for him and clean his house. After I would finish, I was to go back downstairs and await my punishment. If I was lucky, I would only get a slight beating and nothing more than that.

Anyways, I went into the kitchen to cook; however, Severus was already in the room. I blushed, looking down, usually nobody watched while I cooked, but I suppose there's a first time for everything, right?

"What are you doing loitering around my personal quarters at this hour?" He drawled in a monotone voice.

"Um," I start. "I don't know what lottering is." I say stupidly.

He rolls his eyes and walks over to me in order to get into my face. "I believe the word I used was _loitering_. Now, what are you doing in my kitchen?" He asked.

"Well, I thought I was going to cook breakfast." I mumble.

"I'm sorry, come again?" His eyebrow rises.

I gulp; he is intimidating. "I was thinking I would make breakfast for us today. It's just that you always do everything, so I thought I would help out." I gush.

Shaking his head he mumbles something I can't really hear. The only words I can hear are _insufferable _and _girl. _And, I had reason to believe he was talking about me.

"Sorry, I thought you would like to have a break from everything for just a day." I apologize.

His expression softens just a little bit, but I know it probably took a lot of effort to make it do so. Nodding, he looks away at the sink. "That's very… thoughtful of you." I smile.

"Thank you, Severus." His alarmed expression brings me to realize what I'd just done. "Oh my- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-" I spin on my heel and rush to the hallway. Outside, I run until I can't run anymore and even then I continue to run. I run all the way to a tall tower with a clock ticking. I collapse against the railing that is the sole thing protecting me from falling to the ground.

A strangled sob catches my attention. Then, I realize it's my sob that I was hearing, which made me sob even louder and uglier. Can a sob even be ugly? I guess mine can.

Heavy footsteps make me sob even more uncontrollably even though I'm trying to breathe better. Now I can't breathe at all. My face is getting warm and my head hurts whilst my lungs are constricting. I try to bring some air into my lungs, but I can't. I can't calm down and it's only making it worse.

"You must breathe, Lucy. Breathe in, breathe out. Calm yourself! Calming yourself is the only way you will be able to breathe again. I do not care that you used my first name, honestly." That seems to calm me down a bit, but not enough to where I can breathe. I'm feeling dizzy and can't see straight.

"Lucy, please, just breathe for me." He pleads with me. I nod, seeing as I can't quite talk without air. Tears are still streaming down my face as the battle to breathe becomes harder. He gathers me in his arms and rushed down several flights of stairs and down into our quarters. As he hurries down each flight of stairs, I feel myself losing the battle to breathe. And, though it is only minutes, the time it takes to get home seems like hours. He lies me down on the couch and runs back out into the hall. Moments later he returns with a vial of some sorts.

"It's a calming drought." He explains. I nod, still not able to breathe. My head is burning and I need oxygen. He takes the cork out with his teeth and shoves the vial to my mouth, tipping my head back. I choke, but eventually calm down enough to breathe. I gasp, welcoming the burning sensation that means I can breathe again. "Is that better now?" I nod, sighing.

"Thank you. Look, I'm sorry-" His hand on my mouth forces me to stop talking.

"You need to stop apologizing so much, it's rather annoying."

When his hand is removed from my mouth, I start again. "Sorry, it's just-" At his raised eyebrow, I mentally face palm. "Sorry, Oh my gosh, I'm-" I just decided it best to stop talking altogether. In order to avoid apologizing again, I thought it might help to stop talking.

"Thank you, I thought you'd never shut up." He rolls his eye. I cross my arms, offended. Straightening up on the couch, I stand up, moving around Severus and stomp to my room.

In my room, I fall onto my bed and bury my face into my pillow and scream as loud as I could. I heard an amused chuckle from outside my door and groaned. I roll onto my back and sigh. I really would enjoy something to drink. A sudden 'pop' startles me and I jump a foot off my bed, effectively landing on the hard floor.

Looking up, I see the ugliest creature I had ever set my eyes upon. The thing is small, wrinkly, greenish-grey, and is wearing some sort of sack. It has the biggest of ears and eyes and is holding a cup with a clear substance in it. It comes closer and does a little bow, extending its arm as if to hand me the glass of liquid.

* * *

A high-pitched scream interrupts my thoughts of what to do about Lucy's anxiety. The scream seems to come from Lucy's room, though this time it is not one muffled by a pillow. I dash to the hall and barge into her room. The sight before me almost makes me want to chuckle. Almost, but not quite; I would never stoop to such a level. A house elf stands before a hyperventilating Lucy.

"Relax, Lucy, for this creature before you is harmless. It is nothing more than a house elf." I order her to calm down. Lord knows we don't need another episode.

She looks at me with big eyes. "What is a 'house elf'?" She spits out, still afraid.

"A house elf is a creature who serves one family – or in this case, location – for life unless released." I drawl, bored that I have to give her a lesson on yet another thing commonly known.

"I see." She mumbles. "Listen, sir, I didn't mean to bring it here, I swear. It was not my intention to cause another scene. I just was thinking about how I was thirsty and then it popped into my room."

"There is nothing to be ashamed about, for one need only a thought to summon a house elf." I see her nod and look at the elf that is still holding Lucy's water. "You should take that water; that is the sole reason the creature is here in the first place."

She takes it and the elf disappears. I look at her once more before turning around to prepare for today.

* * *

"Lucy, would you come out here?" Severus calls me. Instead of answering, I simply walk out of my room. "Ah, you might want to get a coat on, it is rather chilly outside." I am confused as to why I would need a coat, but get one anyway. "Okay, have you ever been to Diagon Alley?" He asks me when I return to the living room. I shake my head. "I didn't expect you to have, which is why I am bringing you there today. Luckily for you, most of the stores will be open even despite the holiday.

"How are we going to get there?" His startled expression makes me wonder if I said something to offend him.

"We are going to apparate." He says as if it is obvious. I nod, walking over to him so he can grab my arm. He turns on his heel and the most unpleasant feeling comes over me. My body is being pushed and squeezed and pulled. And it was over almost before it started.

"Severus, I do not feel very well." I announce. He points to a bush and I nod, rushing to it. In the bush I empty my small body of what little food my body held. There goes the water, I think as I wipe my mouth. I walk back to him and look down in embarrassment.

"Do not be embarrassed, most everybody vomits on their first time apparating." His fact doesn't make me feel any better, and he sees it. "Is that not what you're upset about?"

"Um, yeah, that was it," I look away, not willing to look into his eyes just so he may find out what's really bugging me.

He raises his eyebrows and sighs. "I know that you're keeping something from me and I do not like it." I continue to study a wall and hear him kneel down to me, coming to eye level with me. "Lucy, won't you tell me what it is? Is it what happened moments ago?" I finally look at him.

"Yes, it is. I just have other things on my mind as well." He raised eyebrow compels me to gush what is on my mind. "Oh, alright, you caught me. I'm not just upset about the throwing up in front of you, but also the fact that you're taking me to this alley place and I don't know what to do for you. I had never had a Christmas before. Well, I'm sure there had been Christmases before, but I hadn't celebrated them." I admit.

"Well, this is my first Christmas I'm celebrating as well; we can celebrate for the first time together." His face morphs into an expression that I think is a smile. I smile back and nod. He gets back into a standing position and grabs my hand awkwardly.

I look up at him, remembering something. "You never did tell me what loitering meant." I point out.

"I suppose I didn't. It means to linger aimlessly." He tells me. I nod; satisfied that I now have nothing I need to ask him, for now. And with that, we venture into what is called 'Diagon Alley'.


	10. Diagon Alley

**Diagon Alley:**

"What is a Galleon?" I am perplexed. Severus had just said that he would have to pick up a 'Galleon' or two for this trip with a smirk on his face. I'm not sure if he was joking or not, but I'm hoping that was why he was smirking.

He looked at me funny, as if I was dumb, before sighing. "A Galleon is one of the three coins used as currency-"

"What's 'currency'?" He doesn't look pleased that I interrupted him.

"Currency is another word for money. It is basically something a group uses for trading or exchange, which is more of less the same thing. Do you understand?" I nod. "Now, as I was saying, A Galleon is one of the three coins used as currency in the wizarding world. The three coins are Galleons, which are the most valuable; Sickles, which are the next valuable; and Knuts, which are the least valuable. There are 17 Sickles to a Galleon and 29 Knuts to a Sickle. Also, if you want to get technical, there are 493 Knuts to a Galleon."

"How did you do that math?" I asked, amazed.

He looks awkward. "I . . . didn't, I was reading an article about the latest currency statistics in the world, and it mentioned the amounts of each coin and how they compare to the currency in the main countries of the world."

I looked down. "Oh . . . I didn't know there were currencies in each country."

He tries to hide his amusement, but I can see it. "What did you think that everybody used the same type of currency?" When he sees my awkward face, he snorts. "Figures,"

I choose to ignore that comment, and try to remember where he said we were going next. We already went to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions and now we were headed someplace else. "Severus, where are we going now?"

"I already told you twice; we are going to Flourish and Blotts to look at books for you to read." At this, I perked right up. "And then we will go to Magical Menagerie, which is a pet shop."

"We are going to a pet shop?" I ask a bit too excited. He nods. "So . . . are you allowing me to get a pet?" I am cautious not to get to hopeful, because he might not say yes. It would be wonderful if he did, but I can't expect him to let me have a pet in our quarters.

"Yes, I figured you would need a companion when I am unavailable or Tonks is busy with her studies or other friends." Yay! Severus is letting me have a pet! I wonder what kinds of pets there are to get.

"Wait, I thought we needed Galleons." I remind him.

He nods. "Yes, we are going there now, did I forget to mention that? Well, we're going to Gringots before we go anywhere else, as your robes cost more than I thought they would for two lousy sets of robes." Well, this conversation is becoming awkward.

We walk a little farther, and finally, I see a big, white building. In front of it seems to be a little man. "Hey, I didn't know there were body guards in Diagon Alley . . ." I think out loud.

"There aren't. Those are goblins." My eyes grow bigger, and I stop walking, struggling to catch my breath. "Breathe, Lucy, there is nothing to fret about." I nod, but I still can't breathe. He digs into his pocket and pulls out a little corked bottle with some sort of liquid inside. "Here, drink this, it's a Calming Drought." I take the bottle and gulp the liquid down. I start to hand him the bottle, but I hesitate when I see his worried expression.

"What is it?" I worry. I hope I didn't just take poison accidentally.

He shakes his head. "I can't be certain, but I think – as that was a strong drought intended for me – that you took more than you should have. I don't know what it might do to you. A few theories I have is that you could become tired easier, extremely calm, or I could have just poisoned you."

At least I took that potion, or else I would be hyperventilating right now. "I don't want to go near the Goblins." I mutter.

"We will do it together." He suggests, to which I nodded.

We entered the building, which I think is called a 'bunk', where a Goblin led us to a cart on a railroad, and took us to Severus' vault. After the goblin opened the vault and Severus went in to collect some money, the goblin turned to look at me. Its beady little eyes looked as if they were looking through me, and his face crinkled in disgust when I squeaked in fear. Severus didn't even look back until after he had grabbed some of the golden and silver coins from his full vault.

The Goblin shut the door and motioned for us to get back in the cart. I was shaking a little, and all I could think about was the Goblin's creepy eyes. Once we stopped, I jumped out of the cart, landing on my face. I sat up and rubbed my sore head, and stood up shakily.

"See, that wasn't so bad." He assures me. I just shrug my shoulders. I was still frightened so much I almost wet my pants. Speaking of which, I need to use the bathroom.

"Severus, I need a bathroom." I hope we can get to one in time.

"We will just go to Flourish and Blotts and ask for a restroom." I sigh in relief. He eyes me as if I'm crazy, but I really need to go. We finally get to the shop, and when we get in, Severus asks the man at the desk if there is a public restroom. Luckily, the guy said yes, so I went where the man pointed; the back of the store.

After I got back, I found Severus looking at some children's stories. He seemed to be interested in one the most, though; it didn't have a pretty cover. I saw another copy on the shelf, and saw that the book is called "Matilda's Magical Meadow". I picked the copy up and looked closer, and saw it was written by Annalixe Moorght.

"Are you interested in it?" Severus asked out of nowhere. I looked over at him and nod with a smile on my face. He set the copy he was holding back on the shelf and motioned for me to lead the way to the counter.

After Severus paid for the book, he led the way to Magical Menagerie. I was most excited for this shop only because I really wanted a pet. At the front door, I saw that there were many different types of pets.

Before we went in, I stopped Severus. "I don't know any of the names to these animals." I confessed. He looked shocked for a moment, but then got over it and thought for a minute.

"Very well, if I should see an animal you would like to have, I will explain to you what it is." I smiled and almost gave him a hug. Almost. We are in public, and I wouldn't want to endanger his reputation. There were only a few people out due to the holiday, but there were still people around.

Inside, I looked at every animal before deciding which one I wanted. Once we had seen every animal, I turned to Severus.

"Well, have you decided on an animal?" I nodded. He sighed as if a huge weight had been taken off of his shoulders. "Alright, which is it?" I spun on my heel and lead the way to a little pen near the back of the store. Inside were cute little furry animals of all different colors.

"You want a cat?" He asked in a flat voice. I tilted my head to the side. "These are kittens; they will grow up to be cats." He explained.

"Okay, then, yes. Yes, I want a kitten." He sighed.

"Which one has caught your eye?" I point to the black one with white paws and blue-grey eyes. "At least it isn't orange." I look at him with a strange expression on my face. It's called confusion. I don't know why I explained it like that, but confusion is a strange word. Then again, so is the word strange.

"Never mind, I don't want to know. How do we get this kitten?"

Instead of answering me, he walks away from me. A few minutes later, he returns with an old man. He smiles at us and asks which kitten we would like. Severus tells him which one I want, and the man gives me permission to see if the kitten likes me.

When I approach it, it rubs its head against my arm. The man says that it likes me, so I may take him. Yes, apparently my new kitten is a boy. Severus is paying for my kitten and a book on how to take care of kittens while I play with my kitten.

"Are you ready to go?" Severus asks. I look up at him and shake my head. "What is there left to do here?"

I look at my little kitten. "I haven't named him yet." I worry.

"What about Maximus?" He suggests. I shake my head. As much as I like the name, it isn't the one for my kitten. "Well, then what about Neros?" I scrunch my face up in disgust. "Okay, then, how about Apollos?" I consider it, but decide against it. "What sort of name works then, Thor?" I look down at my kitten. Yes, Thor, that will be his name.

"I like Thor." I smile and look at Thor. "How do you like your new name, Thor?" I ask him, even though he can't talk.

Severus rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He pulls something small out of his pocket and says, "_Engorgio_," The item then grows and I see that it is a cat carrier.

"Does he have to go in there, or can I hold him for just a little bit longer?" Severus sighs and seems to debate whether or not I can. I jut out my bottom lip and scrunch my eyebrows and nose. I don't really know how I knew to do this, I just somehow know.

"Fine, you may hold Thor until we have to apparate." I smile and thank him.

We start walking when a sudden thought comes to me. I stop again, almost hyperventilating, but Thor brushes his head against my hand, calming me down. "Wait!" I call to Severus. He turns around expectantly. "I haven't gotten you or Tonks anything!" I start to look around the stores. "What do you like? What would Tonks like? How am I going to pay for it? I have no money! I can't accept these gifts!"

"Calm down, I will give you money. You can think of it as a late Birthdays gift." I hesitate, but agree in the end. He hands me 25 Galleons and 13 Sickles.

"Thanks, Severus! I'll go find you both something!" He nods and I run off.

* * *

Lucy thanks me and practically skips off. I turn and walk into The Leaky Cauldron, where I sit at the bar and order a Brandy. I am about to take a drink, when I realize I had forgotten to tell Lucy where to meet me after she's done. Cursing my utter stupidity, I stomp off to the back of The Leaky Cauldron and tap the brick.

As soon as the door is opened, I rush into the depths of Diagon Alley. I enter Gambol and Japes Wizarding Joke Shop first, as I know Lucy probably shopped for Tonks here. Unluckily, she has been shopping for about twenty minutes, so she could have gone anywhere.

As I see that she's not here, I quickly exit and go to Sugarplum's Sweet Shop. There is a woman at the counter, so I rush to her.

"Hello, sir, is there anything in particular you are looking for?" She says in and overly chirpy voice.

"Yes, there is; I am looking for a young girl. She has dark red hair, brown eyes, is about this tall," I gesture with my hand how tall she would be. "Has a black kitten with white paws, and is wearing a dark purple winter coat." By the end of me describing her, she seems to understand.

"Oh yes, she came in earlier and spent a few Sickles on candy, she even requested for to all be wrapped. She must have bought it as a present. Quite a bit late for that, though, wouldn't you say?"

I put my hand up to stop this insufferable woman's rambling. "So, she was here?" She nods. "Have you any idea where she went next?" She shakes her head. I hear her asking me if I would like anything, but I am already out the door.

Where else would she go? She obviously bought the candy for Tonks, and was probably going to buy my present next. I thought about what she would ever get me, but then I realized my ignorance. Obviously she would get me something potions related. Whether it was an actual potion, ingredients, or a book, I did not know. I started on my way to Slug and Jiggers Apothecary. It was the only apothecary in Diagon Alley, so it would be the most likely place she would be.

* * *

"What would someone who likes potions need?" I ask the man who runs the apothecary.

He looks at me with disinterest before sighing and putting his feather down. "That depends."

It doesn't seem like he's about to tell me anything else, so I try again. "What would it depend on?" He doesn't answer. "I'm trying to get him a Christmas Present!" I gush.

"Isn't it a bit late to do that, seeing as it is Christmas Day?" He continues to write with his stupid feather. I can feel my resolve slipping, and suddenly the feather bursts into flames. The man quickly puts the fire out before turning to me with sudden rage.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!" I look over at the barrels. I scoop some little black things and put them in a bag. After that, I pick up a pretty unicorn horn and say, "Here, I'll just buy this and be on my way."

"Very well, if you promise to leave without setting my shop on fire, I will let you buy the beetle eyes and silver unicorn horn." I nod in agreement. "That will be 21 Galleons and 5 Knuts." I hand him the Galleons and a Sickle. "Your change is 24 Knuts." I take the money, along with the horn and jar of beetle eyes, and put them in my coat pocket.

"Have a nice day," I call as I walk out of the store. Now that I'm done with my shopping, with 4 Galleons, 5 Sickles, and 24 Knuts in my pocket, I have to find Severus so we can go. Thor is still sleeping in my arm, occasionally brushing his soft fur on my bare hand.

I am getting cold, so I am trying to find him as quickly as I can, but I slip on a patch of ice, knocking the breath out of me. Unfortunately, this sudden movement wakes up Thor and he looks around with tired eyes. I stumble to my feet and wince as I feel the bruise that will appear on my back end in a few days. I look over Thor, but he seems fine. I sigh in relief and continue walking, wincing as each step hurts my forming bruise.

My stomach growls and I remember that I threw up all of my stomach contents, so now I have nothing in my stomach. I turn the corner when I get to it to find a much darker looking Alley. I look at the sign, but it is an unrecognizable word that I can't pronounce. I continue walking into the dark place, when I hear my name being called.

I spin around and see and angry Severus stomping towards me. I gulp. "What the devil do you think you're doing in Knockturn Alley? Do you know how dangerous it is to be in here? There are dark wizards in this part of the wizarding world." I look down in shame. "Well, do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"I was looking for you. I got you a present. I'm done shopping." I continue to stare at the ground, keeping a tight hold on Thor, so my trembling from the cold and Severus' tone doesn't make me drop him.

There is a moment of silence before he speaks again. "Look at me." I do and see that he looks relieved. "I was looking for you as well. Now, I only want you to be safe. I had forgotten to tell you to meet me at The Leaky Cauldron." Oh, so he was only worried about me? I thought he was angry with me.

"So, you're not angry?" I ask cautiously, aware that he is still Severus Snape, and has many mood swings.

"I'm not angry at you." This doesn't all the way answer my question, but it will do. "Now, let's go to The Leaky Cauldron." He takes my free hand and we walk to the inn together, not even caring at the people staring at us.


	11. Setback

**Setback:**

"I got it. I won't ever do it again." Let me tell you – it's really hard to contain your tears when someone is being scolded for something as silly as leaving a bar before paying for their drink. I had to look away the whole time so I wouldn't cry. But that didn't stop the memories.

_ "You're just a worthless as your mother! You're weak, ugly, and unintelligent! She was a mudblood, but what's your excuse?" Father backhanded my face and kicked me repeatedly as he said this. _

_ From my place on the ground, I simply whimper. I know that if I talk back to him, it will only be worse. He got home a little bit ago – drunk, no less – and started yelling at me, blaming me for everything. _

_ "I wish you had never been born! You are the reason my life is horrible! You are the reason that your life is terrible! You are the reason your mudblood mother is gone! You are the reason the world is a bad place!" With each reason, I am kicked even harder than before. A crack sounds, but I pay it little attention, as I've heard it before. "You are the reason people die." After he kicks me a few more times, he leaves me shaking on the basement floor._

Severus is still being yelled at the man who is accusing him of stealing. I was told to sit at a table away from them, so I sat in the corner. I only half-listened I guess, because I sat on the floor under a table in the corner instead of sitting at a table. Either way, I can still hear them arguing because we are the only ones left in the bar. I hear a crash and I shake. I know that another memory is trying to push forward from the rest of them.

_ Upstairs, I'm hiding in the closet. Father just came home and is mad because I didn't finish the dishes yet. I hear a crash in the kitchen and loud, firm steps on the stairs. I try to squeeze myself even farther into the corner, but I'm already as close as I can get. The closet door is ripped open and Father has a dark look on his face. _

_ "Hiding are we? Are you afraid to face the world you destroyed? Just like your mother – ugly, dirty, useless, ruining, weak, and evil – the list could go on forever. You just can't help yourself, can you? Do you pride yourself in destroying everything? All you ever do is go and cower from your mistakes."_

_ He grabs my hair and drags me down the hall to the stairs. With a flick of the wand in his free hand, pain overcomes me, and things are hitting me all over. After the pain slowly goes away, I see that I'm now at the bottom of the stairs. _

_ "Look at you – so worthless – how you lay there as if this is my fault. You did this to yourself. This is what people get when they destroy the world." He drags me to the basement door. Pain comes over me again as he unlocks the door. This time, I can tell when I hit each stair, as the pain is fading. The door slams once I hit the bottom, and I hear the lock click._

"Lucy?" I wince. Someone is calling my name. "Lucy, are you alright?" My eyes focus and I see that I am back in the bar, and Severus is kneeling at the table, looking at me worriedly. Only his eyes show his emotion. His face is a mask.

I look at my hands and see the blood on them. The blood of everything I've destroyed. The blood of everyone I've destroyed. The blood of my victims is on my hands. My eyes blur and I can only see the color red. I can't breathe. My destruction is now coming back at me. Black is mixing with the red, and now I can hear Severus calling me. Something is pulling me, but I can't see them – I can only see red. Hopefully the world will be a better place when I'm gone.

* * *

At Hogwarts, I rush to our quarters – Poppy will only scare her, and frankly I have better stores than her. Luckily, the students don't return for a few days, so I can maneuver through the halls quicker than usual. I set Lucy on the couch and go to my personal stores cupboard.

Once I have the Calming Drought, I whip around and practically sprint to the main room. "Bullocks," The cork won't come out. Once it's out, I force the Calming Drought down Lucy's throat. I wait in agonized silence for a few minutes before it kicks in.

Her gasp is the sound that relieves me. She will be okay. She will be fine – at least for now. Perhaps I should have handled the situation back at The Leaky Cauldron better, but that's in the past. I can't go back. Well, technically I can, but I don't have a time turner.

She coughs a few times, and then her face crumbles. Her eyes are filled with despair and she looks as though she's given up. I know Tenebris is the reason she is this way. I only wish I knew who her mother is. Obviously she got her looks and good traits from somewhere, and I'm guessing it was her mother.

"Lucy, you are okay." I try to soothe her – emphasis on try.

She is constantly repeating the same word, but I can't hear her. I would honestly be surprised if she could either, with her hard hearing. I lean in closer and freeze. The word she is repeating is 'blood'.

It is as if she is in shock. What could have shocked her to this extent?

* * *

The last memory it on constant replay in my brain, I cannot get free from it. Father is right – I have ruined everything. The blood on my hands is no one's fault but my own. I am a monster. I should be destroyed. I should have everything I've done to others done to me.

I should suffer for what I've done. I should be drowning in the blood of my victims. I should . . . I should get away from Severus before I destroy him too.

I can hear someone speaking to me, but I can't hear what they're saying. All I can hear is the words that my Father spoke to me on that day. On the day that I learned the truth of what a monster I am.

"LUCY!" I finally hear him. The blood goes away and I can see Severus. "What happened back there?" I look away. If I talk to him, I risk ruining him too. "Lucy, look at me." I don't listen to him. Instead, I sit up on the couch and walk to the door that leads to the hallway. "Dammit, Lucy, don't walk away from me. I'm trying to help you!"

I pause and turn a little to look at him. "But I will only ruin you." And with that I turn and walk to the tree by the black lake I usually sit by. Soon my eyelids drop, and I am once again greeted by the destruction I've caused.

_I sit up and look around. There is only blackness. I cannot make out anything around me. There is a little light that seems far away, but when I reach my hand out, it sucks me in. And once again, darkness greets me._

_ "Wake up, Lucy." Severus is trying to wake me up. I do, and he looks excited. This is strange – he never lets his emotions show through his mask. _

_ "What do you need?" I ask._

_ He smirks. "You."_

_After he is done with me, I lay broken on the floor. Soon, another man walks over to my small form. "Well, well, I see Severus has finally given in." I shudder. Father is here. But I know he could never hurt me like Severus just did._

_ "I see you've gotten his Christmas present. Now, tell me, did you actually think that he ever cared for you? Severus has been taking care of you so you would trust him. Now, he doesn't need to do that anymore since you're of no use to him anymore, you see, I gave Severus the instructions of where to find you so you would think that he saved you. Now, he has given me permission to enlighten you before he disposes of you."_

_ Father steps back and Severus is there, his wand pointed at me. The last thing I see is his smirk before green takes over me._

A shaking sensation comes over me as I struggle to get free from the green light suffocating me. I am starting to slip away, when finally; I break through the light and a figure stops shaking me. My vision clears and I shriek, throwing myself back off the bed. How did I get on a bed? How did Severus find me? More importantly, how am I even alive?

"Lucy, look at me." I don't. "Look at me; I would never do . . . that to you. I would never hurt you. I only want to help you. I want to save you." Something in his voice makes me want to believe him, but I don't know if he's tricking me again. "You were having a nightmare; none of what you saw was real. I apologize for the way I handled things at the bar."

I sigh – if we were really at the bar, then he was right. I remember falling asleep by the lake after coming back from the bar. I thought the bar was a flashback, but it wasn't.

Tears pour down my face as I leap up and run to Severus. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," He pats my back as I sob into his chest. "Nothing at all,"

"I destroyed so much . . . and the blood is on my hands . . ." I realize this and shudder, shaking Severus with me. He pulls me into a hug and stands up, taking me with him. He carries me to the couch and sits down. His hand gently trails through my hair as he tells me soothing words.

"Severus," He pauses his hand on my head and waits for me to continue. "Why do bad things happen around me?"

"What do you mean?" His hand moves through my smooth hair again.

"I shocked that giant man and set the other man's feather on fire . . ." I confess. He already knew about the giant man being shocked, but I only just set the feather on fire.

"Oh, that," How does he know? "That was a quill, and you are not to blame. Hedrick should have controlled his temper better."

"But I'm the one who was in the wrong." Severus shakes his head. "How did you even know about that?"

He freezes. "I . . . might have the ability to see into your mind and witness memories and a few random thoughts here and there."

Now it's my turn to freeze. "You . . . saw that? How much did you see?"

"Enough to know that it wasn't your fault – it was Tenebris' fault. You never destroyed anything; he did. Do not forget that." I nod, even though I don't really believe it.

"When will Tonks come back?" I ask.

"In four days." I nod, very tired. Despite me being so tired, I know that I won't be getting any sleep for a while.


	12. Distance

**Distance:**

I was right; I didn't sleep for those four days, no matter how hard I tried. I knew that if I closed my eyes, the memories and nightmares would haunt me. I know I will have to face them some time or other, but I can't do it now. Besides, Tonks will be here any minute now, and I can't wait to give her Christmas present to her.

Severus seemed to like my gifts, and I definitely liked his. He got me a blanket that had 'Lucy' sewn into it. It really was beautiful. And it was comfortable while I read "Matilda's Magic Meadow". It really is a lovely book – I've already read it seven times. It is a picture book, so it's apparently an 'easy read'; at least that's what Severus says.

I guess I should go to the Great Hall now to wait for Tonks. She's a seventh year, so she won't be coming back next year. Hopefully I will make a friend with one of the new students who will be here next year. Hopefully I won't have to say goodbye to Tonks forever. Hopefully I will see her soon.

There are a lot of things I am hopeful for, but I am not convinced they will come true. Severus said there is a word for that . . . maybe it's optimized? Oh well, it's something like that anyways. He said that the word that means the other things is pessimistic – I think.

The Great Hall is empty when I enter it, and it looks like people have already eaten dinner and gone to their common rooms. They are probably getting ready to sleep. I must have gotten stuck in my thoughts for longer than I thought . . .

I wish I could hear well. I wish I hadn't gotten sick. I wish I could read well. I wish I could write more than simple words and the alphabet. I wish for a lot of things, but I wish for one thing the most. I wish I wasn't a monster.

Severus tells me that I'm not a monster, but I don't believe him. He is only trying to make me feel better. Well, that or he is tricked by how I seem now. He must not see the monster inside of me.

Since I know I won't sleep tonight, I think about things instead. I have to stay awake. If I fall asleep bad things will happen to me. I do not want to put Severus through bad things again. I don't want Tonks to be exposed to bad things either. I will have to separate myself from her.

Should I give her the present first, or should I stop being friends now to save her from my destruction? What about Severus? I can't really do anything about that right now, except for staying away from him and everyone else as much as I can.

By the time dawn came, I knew that I needed to distance myself from everybody or they would get hurt. There would be no more lessons with Severus and no more hanging out with Tonks. I would only destroy them if I did.

* * *

For weeks, I stayed away from everybody for as much as possible. I only saw people when I had to eat and if I had to sleep. Yes, I sleep again – just not very much. I maybe sleep a day or two a week, if that.

Despite that, however, I am finding that everyone is better without me so far. Maybe I will permanently remove myself from their lives . . .

"Hey, Lucy, wait up!" Someone is trying to bring me into their life again. That someone is Tonks.

I stop and turn around. She looks out of breath and worried. Maybe she's stressed over her final tests. I think she has to take NETS this year.

"You have been avoiding everybody! Even Snape has been affected – he even lashed out at me during class!" She takes a moment to breathe and then continues. "Have I done something to make you distance yourself?"

"No, you haven't done anything. I am the one who has done it." She looks confused, but I turn around and walk to my room without explaining myself – its better this way. This way nobody will be hurt.

Maybe I should remove myself from their lives permanently . . .

"Lucille!" What does he want? I keep walking. "Lucille Anne Drake, turn around and face me!" I dare to keep walking – even though I know that it's a stupid idea. Suddenly a hand clamps down on my shoulder. I shriek and cower away from Father.

"No!" I throw myself away from him, landing hard on my side. I hear a crack, but I get back up and sprint as fast and hard as I ever have. The stairs come into my view, and I soon find myself crashing to the bottom. Even still, I get up. I continue to run. I run outside into the snow that slows me down.

"Lucy! Lucy, wait, please!" No, no, no, I have to get away from him! What will happen when he catches me? No, I won't think of that! The forest is right there, if only I could run faster.

I almost make it, but the strong arms around my small frame cause me to shriek and writhe in agony. "No! Please, no, don't touch me!" Even with all of my squirming, he holds me. And the longer he holds me, the harder it is for me to breathe. Purple dots cloud my vision and darkness starts to swarm in on me.

"Lucy, listen to me! I am not Tenebris, I am Severus! Bollocks, Lucy, breathe!" But I can't breathe. Even if I could, why would I want to? "No, don't you dare give up Lucy, I can see it it your eyes – you've given up. Fight, Lucy, I'm sorry!" I freeze. Why would he be sorry? Now I want to hear what he has to say, so I try to breathe.

"That's it; breathe in, breathe out – calm down – breathe in, breathe out . . ." I'm obviously breathing right now, or I'd be dead. ". . . Out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe . . ." Finally, I feel calm enough to breathe regularly. "Good. I think we should add breathing lessons to you list of lessons." I look down in shame. I haven't gone to my lessons in weeks. "Speaking of lessons – why haven't you been coming to your reading and writing lessons?" I shrug. He raises an eyebrow.

"I thought that I'd be better for everyone t-to st-ay away from m-e." Why is it so cold in the wintertime? Why can't snow be warmer?

"Lucy, your lips are blue, let's get back to our quarters." I nod vigorously and we start our walk home.

* * *

"I'm sorry I thought you were Father." I apologize for what seems like the thousandth time.

Severus shrugs. "Why are you always calling Tenebris that – Father, I mean."

"I suppose I call him that because that's what he demanded I call him." Severus seems satisfied with this answer and turns back to his desk pile of papers that he is grading.

"Thank you, Severus."

He abruptly looks up. "Why would you thank me?"

"For healing my broken rib, helping me breathe - everything, really." He nods awkwardly and returns to grading.

For a while, I simply watch him grade, occasionally asking him what a word means. Apparently wolf's bane isn't a type of wolf, nor is monkshood a type of hat – they are actually the same plant that also goes by the name aconitum. Also, horned slugs are used in the cure for boils potion.

Overall, I learned a lot about potions, ingredients, and vocabulary. After he finished grading, he even gave me a reading assignment – I had to read the cure for boils instructions aloud to him:

* * *

_"Cure for Boils: Brewing Instructions –_

_ 1x Horned Slugs_

_ 1x Porcupine Quills_

_ 1x Snake Fangs_

_Add 6 Snake Fangs to the mortar_

_Crush into a fine powder using the pestle_

_Add 4 measures of the crushed fangs to your cauldron_

_Heat to a high temperature for 10 seconds_

_Wave your wand_

_Leave to brew and return in 45 minutes_

_Add 4 Horned Slugs to your cauldron_

_Add 2 Porcupine Quills to your cauldron_

_Stir 5 times, clockwise_

_Wave your wand to complete the potion"_

* * *

"Very good, except for one thing – it's poor-cue-pines, not pork-pines." He corrects me.

I smile. "But other than that, I did well?" I beam when he nods. "That means I'm doing better! Do you think I'll be ready for school in a year and a half?"

"Based on your progress, it is very possible that you'll be more than ready." I smile and pick up "Matilda's Magic Meadow" and start to read to myself as Severus gets up to get another cup of tea.


End file.
